Well, where to begin.

I'm 19 years old and currently in my first year of a four year university program. I have a boyfriend, whom I've been dating for almost 7 months, but the past four months have been long distance. On St. Patrick's Day, March 17th, I went out to the bar with a few of my friends, and ended up taking a friend of a friend back to my dorm with me. Since Christmas I have been off birth control, since I didn't see any need for it while my boyfriend was away. When I took this guy, we'll call him Bob, back to my dorm, we had sex, not once but twice, both times unprotected, he did pull out both times, but obviousily that was not efficient.

I had an appointment at the health clinic on the 25th, where I found out I was indeed pregnant. I told Bob and he was very understanding of everything and said he'd go to all my future appointments with me, which made things a little bit easier. We automatically knew adoption was out, becasue after 9 months of carrying a child, I knew I would not be able to just give it up. So it was down to having the baby, or aborting it.

Bob and I are both in school, he still has one year left of his current program, then another two to go after that, I still have another 3 years left in my program. Before St. Patty's Day, Bob and I had only talked to each other maybe twice, so we really don`t know each other at all. This encounter was cheating on my behalf, and I love my boyfriend to death and if I went through with this pregnancy, I know I would lose the best thing to ever happen to me. Along with being in school goes being in debt, there is not way we could have the money to afford to raise a child and I know I could not give a baby the best life possible at this point, which is what I want for my children.

With these discussions, we decided to get an abortion. Bob, who is a bit religious, believes that abortions are wrong, but now under the circumstances, believes it is the best option. Bob, also knows that he is not ready to be a father, and if I had the baby, he would not be able to support it. In all the reasonings we talked about, I know that it is the best option as well for both of us.. but there is more to the story…

When I was 16, I got pregnant as well, but with twins. I was determined on keeping and raising them, but in the edn my mom convinced me to get an abortion, which is why I did. To this day, I still feel bad about getting the abortion, its not that I regret it, just there are many things that remind me of what I did and deep down inside I somehow feel I shouldn`t have.

With this pregnancy, all those feelings from before are coming back, of how terrible I felt afterwards, but I still think it`s the best option.

I don`t know what to do, any feedback would be greatly appreciated.