So I’m 19 and just found out that im almost 6 weeks pregnant. it wasn’t really a shock to me because i never used any kind of protection. i just didnt think it would happen… i tried when I was with my boy friend for about 5 months and never got pregnant then we broke up and then im pregnant. I dont know but i guess i was just meant to carry this baby. when I first thought I was pregnant i got a clear blue test that tells you PREGNANT or NOT PREGNANT…

i went into my bathroom at 6:00 am and waited to see what came out.. as I looked at the PGtest  it said pregnant. my heart dropped I didnt know if I should be happy or sad. i then called a few close friends and they support me. I then called my x boyfriend (the father) and told him.. he took it pretty well but he don’t want to tell his parents because they are leaving for Russia in a few short weeks he says he will tell them when they get back about 4 months from now.. i told my parents and they accept it im on strict rules and feel like im 13 again lol but i agreed with them… well anyways its really hard for me right now I’m a recovering drug addict and a gogo dancer at clubs/raves.

i finally got a official contract for dancing and can no longer do it I cant drink anymore or do drugs. ive been trying to get off drugs for awhile but having to quit just like that so this baby stays healthy is killing me and it doesn’t help that my friends call me and want me to go out or brag about going out and having fun and parting.  i want what is best for this baby i do not want to hurt it in anyway.. but what can I do these craving and the bordum is hard. and the fact that all my friends wont talk to me anymore because im not out there doing the drugs and party lifestyle with them i feel hurt and alone. i dont know how to stay home and not party or do nothing. i cant even go to the clubs because my parents think my drink will get spiked or someone will hit my stomach or anything… is a baby really worth giving up its all about me attitude for its all about the baby. i like to think it is i think that this is a gift from god and that i would make a great mother and stop doing drugs and maybe find the right path again and meet some new friends that dont bring me down with them. i cant wait to see and hold my baby the first time and she looks into my eyes and and i look into hers and we feel the bond and she knows that she is safe in my arms and that she will never have to worrie about a thing because i will always be there.. that will be a feeling better then any drug out there let alone anything out there… best feeling to know that your going to be a mother the best for the baby… thanks for reading and god bless