My story is long. I could tell you all the facts, the “supposed” reasons why it was logical to go through with the abortion. My age and circumstance in the end will not matter. I can say my fear and confusion and pressure from others was the same felt as most of us before we decided to have the abortion. What I will say is that I cannot go a day ( really no more than a couple hours) without feeling the pain in my heart, the ache and the longing for someone that was in my life and now is gone. Knowing I chose that will mess with your mind forever. It will not go away.
Random tears at the sight of a mother and child will happen. That is a certainty. Anger and self-hate will be yours on frequent occasion too. Oh and don’t forget that every month remembering that first time you found out that you were pregnant and that secret joy that you weren’t supposed to have will be mixed with memories of cramping and the blood that you saw after your baby was violently taken from your body.
Oh did I remember to tell you that if you are fortunate to have children present or future that you will never be able to look in their eyes without wondering what your unborn child’s eyes would have looked like, their smell, what their skin would have felt like. Your arms will always feel empty. I know God forgives and He still loves me. I don’t think I am an awful person unworthy of love. I get along in my life, go to work, love many, laugh often. But if you asked me who I am… I would have to say I am a sad, sad woman who would give anything to change the decision I made on that July 9th. I want my baby back, I want to feel my baby back in my belly, grow inside me and kick me. I want to see that child of mine grab their toes as babies do, smile that gum-less baby smile, fall asleep in my arms, grow to be a beautiful child, grow to be a wonderful being in this world. I want my baby back.
My Angel…I am broken with you, I know your loss, I feel your pain. I was married once, husband wanted no children and the Dr confirmed that I could have none. A year later I suspected that I was about 4 months pregnant and had a check up and was confirmed. This information I hid from my husband for almost 2 more months and when he found out, he threw me out into the street like a dog. I had no proper scans done and eventually when my husband decided that it was time to face up to this I went for a scan. Here they found that I had huge problems and I would have to abort there and then. I was in tears and hubby had the biggest grin on his face.
Cut a long story short I did abort the pregnancy, I had no option, but I tell you this…I then moved out the house, got a divorce and made sure that my husband knew what I thought of him. How disgusted and dirty he made me feel, how does one push a gift from God away like a dog…maybe worse. If ever you find yourself in that situation again…look me up and I will gladly take you in. You need to find an expert that you can pour your heart out. You need to deal with your loss, and as for your family I am disgusted in them – sorry hon!!!
I know ur pain..it hurts so much..I hope 1day we can find peace
Hi idk you or anything but your writing really touched me. Im in the process of deciding weather or not to have an abortion so im weighing my pros and cons but i think im falling in love with this baby inside me already. Im only 6 weeks but if i were to have an qbortion i would need to decide now b4 its too late. Im only 23 don't go nto school, don't have a job and don't really have a supportive bf not to menssion he has 2 other kids by his ex gf. those kids are 2 and 4. I moved from denver colorado to houston tx tto be with my bf and this happened. what do you suggest i do? like i said im already falling for this baby and just want all the insite,advice and feedback i can get. i know its tough and im a christian girl,we dont really believe in that but im gona have to do what i have to do if i cant raise this baby with both his/her parents around then idt its fair.
I know a lot of single mothers who were in similar situations and have now raised beautiful children who are strong because of their mom's example. Raising a child by yourself is more fair than ending their lives. If you decide you really can't do this alone, you should really consider adoption. Adoption is a much loving option for your baby than abortion. And as you can see from all these posts, abortion is something a lot of people regret and wish they could undo. Good luck girl, I wish you the best in your pregnancy and maybe if you do have this baby alone, things will fall into place and some day you will meet a great man who will be there for you, and this beautiful baby.
There's always options. I had two early abortions that I will always regret. I am not with the father the relationship dissolved despite the terminations. I went on after that to have 5 miscarriages. I am currently married to mister wonderful and hated having to tell him each time that we lost another child, that we'd have to bury another baby. Following the procedures I became estrogen dominant and have a weak cervix so I have a very difficult time maintaining a pregnancy. The lasting pain and agony that come with choosing to stop a baby from entering this world when there are options are unbearable at times. Before you decide educate yourself talk to people about adoption, it's still an equally hard option but with the rise in open adoptions the baby could have loving parents that you chose for him/her and you could still watch her grow. There are programs in each state to help women who are pregnant or have children. If your bf decides that he doesn't want to be a part of it and leaves then from experience it wouldn't last anyway or he just needs more time. Either way what's not fair is if you choose to not let this child live and try to be happy if it's at all avoidable.
I love the fact that no matter the heart ache, pain, trauma, & just overall sadness you have been through & experience, you still give glory to God & his overwhelming love & forgiveness for everyone.
Everyone makes mistakes, the best of us do. You are a strong woman though. Thank you for sharing this story. I think that if a girl were to be doing research on abortion to see weather or not she would go through with one, seeing what you've been through afterward would definitely change her mind to have her child.
Your story, exactly what your wrote, described what I have felt and still feel for the last 3 years. Initially my partner and I decided to keep our baby although we were only 18. There was no doubt for me that I was having that baby, we started buying baby clothes and nappies and then all of a sudden my partner freaked out and said if I had the baby he would leave and not support me. My parents, once we told them, also had the same opinion. I went a long with the abortion because I felt I had no choice or I would be alone forever. In reality I should have done it alone because every day for the past 3 years I think about how she would like and be walking and talking now. It will haunt me until my days are over and some times I wish that was soon so I could be up there with her. No one could understand that pain that I go through every single day. No one knows unless they have been through it and until then, they can't judge. I admire you so much for sharing your story and that encouraged me to share mine. You are a strong, brave woman. Many hugs
I know how it feels like the pain eats you each and every and people won't understand what. You are going thru because you are afraid they might judge you. I did that same mistake in life and if i could turn back time i would just to feel him in my my arms. I don't recormend abortion it killed my happinessi
I had one abortion which was due to or sutation it was to bad and unfair to bring a kid up in, but now when you have to end up haveing another cose of medical reason why does it hurt more? All i actually think is why? And how sad I am. I get so depressed i hate being on my own cose it hurts far to much. I do not like going outside either i'd rather be indoors forever it hurts to much.
your baby is safe with God. you will be reunited with your child again. talk to your child , ask forgiveness and feel the love your child has for you. His/her spirit lives on and only wants the best for you. You have suffered enough. If god forgives you, your baby will too. you are so honest-my heart breaks for you. please talk to someone spiritual whom you trust.
your child will wait for you. he/she is not troubled. ask to dream about your child.
God bless,
Pray for us in Ireland where our Government is trying to bring in abortion legislation. Do they not know what they do.
Your story just hit me so hard. I'm 21 and I am 5 weeks pregnant right now. At first I was uncertain what I had wanted to do, but now I feel like a mommy already. My boyfriend is completely against having the baby and is all for abortion. I'm feeling like abortion is my only choice if I don't want to raise this baby alone. I'm scared of the after effects.
i can relate to your story. am 11 weeks pregnant. i went for an abortion when i was 8 weeks n walked out just as the doctor was going to start the procedure. i cried and was in a bad shape and under a lot of medicines. my boyfriend who drove me there didn't want to talk to me or even comfort me. got in an accident which i caused. then here i am now, just made yet another appointment to do it again and i'm sooo restless. its for tomorrow morning. just remembering what i felt the previous appointment makes me sick to my gut. i can't raise the child alone. no job and i have issues with my status here in this country. I'm sooo depressed rite now. haven't told a soul. i wish i had someone to talk to. just to show me another way. i don't want to abort. i feel a connection already with the baby. this is my first.
am also scared girl dat l might be pregnant but i dnt knew wat to do i feel like vommittin an ma breasts ar even coming out milk.
I am in a bit different of a situation. I didn't chose to end my babies life, it passed on its own. But I certainly know how you feel in a sense <3
I'm still miscarrying, and it kills me every time I start cramping up and every time I go to the bathroom and see the blood. And its so painful to watch other people carry their babies around while I wont get to do that <3
It made me cry, especially to read that last paragraph <3 I so know how that all feels.. I'm so sorry your feeling that way too <3
It is usually sad to read how women suffer because of abortion! Sometimes it is our fault as men to push you into these kind of things, but one needs to go beyond the suffering! I can only encourage you to accept the reality, know that your are not the only one suffering. There are many women suffering not only because they gave in to abortion, but also they saw their born babies being killed by wars, conflict, diseases. So, do not imagine too much. If you believe in God, know that God forgives. n today's world, young men and women are exposed to a tremendous temptation. Take courage and carry on with your daily life.
your story is sad but its an eye opener at the same time to people like me,i just found out that im pregnant and the first thing on my mind was abortion cause im afriad of my mothers reaction and i wasnt thinking,it pains me so much to think of her reaction but i believe dat woman should always have dat room for disappointment from their daugters,my boyfriend ran away and its very sad at the same time but i believe dat God will give me strength.plz forgive yourself in order for God to forgive u,wat you did is brave of sharing your story and you having an abortion does not change the person you really are pray and ask God to heal your wound
I think you will be okay raising the baby, & that baby will be so thankful later on to you, that you decided to keep him/her knowing there was a chance you'd have to do it on your own. Be strong for your baby. <3
all what we did in our life never been back even if that is good or bad.every decision you made never have return.always put on your mind that god works and forgive.we are just women that sometimes made rong and fall into the ground no one are perfect..just always pray “god' listen.:-)
I just found out I am pregnant 5 days ago and it was not planned. my boyfriend was with me when we found out. I panicked, but he told me it was going to be fine. we haven't told anyone yet. but last night we got into an argument about something we argued before, and he told me one more fight and he was done. but I thought because I'm carrying his baby, he would never tell me he was done. well he wanted me to have an abortion and be done with me? I am so confused and hurt. After reading your story, you gave me the strength to say no to an abortion and have my baby no matter what my relationship would be with him.I want to believe he panicked and that's why he said that, but I am just not sure? I love him and this was not a mistake. thank you so much for sharing your story. God lead me to this site and your story for a reason. I am so sorry for your loss. you are in my prayers.
Honey He can do what ever the heck he want:o bot I am begging you! don't DO! what you will regret it for the rest of your life, that beautiful littl thing that is inside of you, is innocent, and you will love that baby so much, even if he's not around! And if you have nervous breakdowns, It's only due to your hormones change.
Usually after the first pregnancy obversion! you cannot have anymore children! Would you want that to happen to you:( Ask yourself that? and talk to your family, I am Sure they going to understand you.
good day
for me this is something very good that u did by sharing your story because you are letting other young people know the pain and suffer that you are experiencing and hope that this will show them that abortion is not a option
i know how its feel like losing love ones, because Im one of them. Being doing abortion is not a good decision. I think mine is harder than yours and hurt the most. sometimes, when I deep thinking, this is always come to my mind.”What if my baby is still here”Theres alot of wish I have about him.I want my baby back.
i'm very fortunate to have read your story.. but i'm sorry for what had happened to your life.. as human as we are, we are always exposed and more prone to temptations and sins.. but God always forgives those who asks for it.. just keep praying.. i will also offer a prayer for you and your angel. Thanks for sharing your story.. surely this story is a very precise paradigm of why we should not commit abortion… i hope some other women who have tendencies of engaging unto such activity could read and realize something out from your experience…
your words ring true i feel the same i wonder my days away who would he look like, who would she talk like, would she tell my lies, its been 19 years for me and my pain hasnt gone away i hang my head in shame, that awful day will haunt me forever and so it should. to other people i have everything to me i have nothing.
wow all i can say is that this story is so sad and i see what you are taling about and even though u and i are completely different i wish i could help u!
im so sorry to hear that i do no how ur feeling i was months pregnent befoer i had my aborshin i felt like i was lost i wanted to keep my son i regret what i did i feel so bad but u did what u felt was right at the time i had no support over it and the babys father keeps beeting me up for taking his son away from him i thought i deseved to get hit from it i try to move on from what i did but i cant.i cant go out with my friends cause i feel like why should i when i should be where my baby is and my baby should be where i am.. its sad i thought i was doing the right thing but now i no it was a mistake 😥
I am going through the same thing right now. I am 25 my fiance and I have good jobs and have been together for a year but he doesn't want it. I already had the appointment for the abortion and had to leave now he has made me book another, or else threatening to leave m e. I too feel as though I will not be able to go through life knowing I killed something that was a result of love. I am so hurt and confused
dont listen to him,if any man makes u give away your own son is a monster,he's just joking when he says he'll leave you if thats even so,he'll be doing that all through out the time ur together. but honestly dont blame yourself its a bit hard bringing up a child by urself but i bet you'll get there,and find someone in that time someone who would do anything for you like these horrible men making woman give away their children.most of the time its always a regret when people give their child up for abortions…..
'it takes a boy to havea child but it takes a man to look after one';)
I'm so sorry….. I don't really know what you are going through because I have miscarried before I even had a chance of making that decision. But with a miscarriage it still hurts to know that you did something wrong. I know that it isn't the same but I want you to know that you are not the only one that goes through something like this and that god still loves you and he forgives you no matter what.
hello ! hhmm .. u know what? being a mother is one of the happiest thing in a womans life 🙂 but i understand why u undergo abortion first reason was maybe your too young or your parents doesnt want it .. but then the pain is there bec. u killed .. im not yet a mother nor i did not yet got preggy but i know the feelings .. just pray for the soul of ur baby 🙂 GODbless YOU! dont think that god dont love u anymore GOD CAN FORGIVE 🙂
halo..how are you doing? I remembered my friend who did the same thing. She did recovered through the help of prayers and letting herself busy. She entered into counselings, bible studies, outreach and any activities that would involve teens and children. That would pass, your child will always be with you since you kept it in your heart and he will always stay there forever. God Bless you.
I understand your pain. It has been 27 1/2 years since my abortion and I still feel the loss of my son. I can tell you that God's healing grace will give you the strength to survive and be happy again. If you have not yet attended a post-abortion recovery program please do. Rachel's Vineyard is a great one and there are many others. I'm here if you need an understanding friend who has walked many miles in the shoes you are now wearing. Message me and I will give you other ways of contacting me in case you need or want to talk. You are not alone and what you feel is common among post-abortive women and men I'm praying for you!
I know how you feel. I made that same decision. I back it all up with wrong situation and bad timing. When in actuality I just wanted someone to tell me it was ok. How sad is that. I constantly feel lost. I got pregnant just 4 months after which just made things worst. I have a beautiful baby girl and she is absolutely perfect. I love her to no end but sometimes I just look at her and think why? Why her? There have been times when I have thought about if I could go back and change my decision I would but then what about Atalee? I can not get past it all, and it was my decision. My entire pregnancy all I did was cry, I didn't appreciate any of it. Feeling her move finding out it was a girl hearing the heartbeat none of it. It all adds up to that one mistake. That last minute decision. But I changed my mind to late my cervix was already opened.
Hey Dear,
How are you going? I just want to let you know that God loves you so much…and with Him all things are possible…so don't worry…No problem is too big for God…We are all here for you…you are not alone…I hope you are well 🙂
thinking of you,
in my heart & prayers,
lots of love,
here if you want to talk,
God Bless,
Maria xoxoxoxox