My story is long. I could tell you all the facts, the “supposed” reasons why it was logical to go through with the abortion. My age and circumstance in the end will not matter. I can say my fear and confusion and pressure from others was the same felt as most of us before we decided to have the abortion. What I will say is that I cannot go a day ( really no more than a couple hours) without feeling the pain in my heart, the ache and the longing for someone that was in my life and now is gone. Knowing I chose that will mess with your mind forever. It will not go away.
Random tears at the sight of a mother and child will happen. That is a certainty. Anger and self-hate will be yours on frequent occasion too. Oh and don’t forget that every month remembering that first time you found out that you were pregnant and that secret joy that you weren’t supposed to have will be mixed with memories of cramping and the blood that you saw after your baby was violently taken from your body.
Oh did I remember to tell you that if you are fortunate to have children present or future that you will never be able to look in their eyes without wondering what your unborn child’s eyes would have looked like, their smell, what their skin would have felt like. Your arms will always feel empty. I know God forgives and He still loves me. I don’t think I am an awful person unworthy of love. I get along in my life, go to work, love many, laugh often. But if you asked me who I am… I would have to say I am a sad, sad woman who would give anything to change the decision I made on that July 9th. I want my baby back, I want to feel my baby back in my belly, grow inside me and kick me. I want to see that child of mine grab their toes as babies do, smile that gum-less baby smile, fall asleep in my arms, grow to be a beautiful child, grow to be a wonderful being in this world. I want my baby back.
My Angel…I am broken with you, I know your loss, I feel your pain. I was married once, husband wanted no children and the Dr confirmed that I could have none. A year later I suspected that I was about 4 months pregnant and had a check up and was confirmed. This information I hid from my husband for almost 2 more months and when he found out, he threw me out into the street like a dog. I had no proper scans done and eventually when my husband decided that it was time to face up to this I went for a scan. Here they found that I had huge problems and I would have to abort there and then. I was in tears and hubby had the biggest grin on his face.
Cut a long story short I did abort the pregnancy, I had no option, but I tell you this…I then moved out the house, got a divorce and made sure that my husband knew what I thought of him. How disgusted and dirty he made me feel, how does one push a gift from God away like a dog…maybe worse. If ever you find yourself in that situation again…look me up and I will gladly take you in. You need to find an expert that you can pour your heart out. You need to deal with your loss, and as for your family I am disgusted in them – sorry hon!!!
I know ur pain..it hurts so much..I hope 1day we can find peace
Hi idk you or anything but your writing really touched me. Im in the process of deciding weather or not to have an abortion so im weighing my pros and cons but i think im falling in love with this baby inside me already. Im only 6 weeks but if i were to have an qbortion i would need to decide now b4 its too late. Im only 23 don't go nto school, don't have a job and don't really have a supportive bf not to menssion he has 2 other kids by his ex gf. those kids are 2 and 4. I moved from denver colorado to houston tx tto be with my bf and this happened. what do you suggest i do? like i said im already falling for this baby and just want all the insite,advice and feedback i can get. i know its tough and im a christian girl,we dont really believe in that but im gona have to do what i have to do if i cant raise this baby with both his/her parents around then idt its fair.
I know a lot of single mothers who were in similar situations and have now raised beautiful children who are strong because of their mom's example. Raising a child by yourself is more fair than ending their lives. If you decide you really can't do this alone, you should really consider adoption. Adoption is a much loving option for your baby than abortion. And as you can see from all these posts, abortion is something a lot of people regret and wish they could undo. Good luck girl, I wish you the best in your pregnancy and maybe if you do have this baby alone, things will fall into place and some day you will meet a great man who will be there for you, and this beautiful baby.
There's always options. I had two early abortions that I will always regret. I am not with the father the relationship dissolved despite the terminations. I went on after that to have 5 miscarriages. I am currently married to mister wonderful and hated having to tell him each time that we lost another child, that we'd have to bury another baby. Following the procedures I became estrogen dominant and have a weak cervix so I have a very difficult time maintaining a pregnancy. The lasting pain and agony that come with choosing to stop a baby from entering this world when there are options are unbearable at times. Before you decide educate yourself talk to people about adoption, it's still an equally hard option but with the rise in open adoptions the baby could have loving parents that you chose for him/her and you could still watch her grow. There are programs in each state to help women who are pregnant or have children. If your bf decides that he doesn't want to be a part of it and leaves then from experience it wouldn't last anyway or he just needs more time. Either way what's not fair is if you choose to not let this child live and try to be happy if it's at all avoidable.
I love the fact that no matter the heart ache, pain, trauma, & just overall sadness you have been through & experience, you still give glory to God & his overwhelming love & forgiveness for everyone.
Everyone makes mistakes, the best of us do. You are a strong woman though. Thank you for sharing this story. I think that if a girl were to be doing research on abortion to see weather or not she would go through with one, seeing what you've been through afterward would definitely change her mind to have her child.
Your story, exactly what your wrote, described what I have felt and still feel for the last 3 years. Initially my partner and I decided to keep our baby although we were only 18. There was no doubt for me that I was having that baby, we started buying baby clothes and nappies and then all of a sudden my partner freaked out and said if I had the baby he would leave and not support me. My parents, once we told them, also had the same opinion. I went a long with the abortion because I felt I had no choice or I would be alone forever. In reality I should have done it alone because every day for the past 3 years I think about how she would like and be walking and talking now. It will haunt me until my days are over and some times I wish that was soon so I could be up there with her. No one could understand that pain that I go through every single day. No one knows unless they have been through it and until then, they can't judge. I admire you so much for sharing your story and that encouraged me to share mine. You are a strong, brave woman. Many hugs
I know how it feels like the pain eats you each and every and people won't understand what. You are going thru because you are afraid they might judge you. I did that same mistake in life and if i could turn back time i would just to feel him in my my arms. I don't recormend abortion it killed my happinessi
I had one abortion which was due to or sutation it was to bad and unfair to bring a kid up in, but now when you have to end up haveing another cose of medical reason why does it hurt more? All i actually think is why? And how sad I am. I get so depressed i hate being on my own cose it hurts far to much. I do not like going outside either i'd rather be indoors forever it hurts to much.