Growing up my mother was my rock. i had an alcoholic dad, but my mom, i hadn’t ever seen drunk in my life. She was the strongest christian i had ever met and she put her family before all else. My dad was a very bad alcoholic and through all the scary things he did and put us through, she somehow managed to stay by him and try to help him through it.
When i was fourteen, my mom passed away. she died in a lawn mowing accident in our back yard. we live on a river, and as she was mowing the edge, the blade got stuck on cattails, tipped the mower and she was trapped.
My dad then sent me to a christian boarding school just two months after my mom died. It was really hard for me. i wanted nothing more that to be around family and friends close to me during that time, but instead i was moving into a dorm, where i hardly knew anybody. that year, my freshman year, my grades dropped, i gained weight and i just wasn’t myself. i missed my friends at home. I had so many friends at home and they all knew what i was dealing with and i wanted to be close to them. earlier that year, shortly after my mom died, i started dating my now husband, which was another reason i just wanted to be home. i got to go home quite frequently but it still wasn’t enough.
That summer, i finally convinced my dad to let me come home. my siblings told me that if his alcoholism got out of hand i might have to return to the boarding school, so because of this, i ignored it. My dad wouldn’t drink, i would pretend like it wasn’t happening. I would just go on with my regular life and try not to let it bother me. on Halloween my sophomore year my dad got so drunk our neighbor had to come help him. our neighbor got ahold of my brother and grandfather, and after that my dad was sent to treatment and i had to live with my brother.
my dad returned around Christmas time and we tried so hard to get things back to normal, but they weren’t. he was so on edge and angry.
In march i got pregnant. my boyfriend and i were using protection, but it broke and i got pregnant. i knew that night i was pregnant and so did my boyfriend, but i tried to ignore it. two months went by and i still hadn’t gotten my period. i was so scared. my boyfriend was right by my side. he was urging me to take a test and get to the doctor, so finally i got ahold of a close family friend for help. she bought me a pregnancy test and it was positive. at this point, i saw my deathbed before me i thought. i told my boyfriend and all he wanted to do was hug and love me, but i was just so unbelievably distant. i couldn’t talk or do anything. I then got to the doctor, found out my due date and heard the heartbeat. we weren’t ready to tell anybody so we payed for the appointment so they wouldn’t send a bill out.
i knew my dad was going to shun me, and i was afraid he was going to send me away. a few weeks later we went to the doctor and fout out we were having a little girl. we knew we HAD to tell our parents, that this really wasn’t going away. we told his parents first. they were mad but they supported and loved us. We then told my family. my sister threw a lot of things in my face about how big of a liar i am for keeping this in, and threw stuff in my face about how near impossible it was going to be for me to raise my daughter. she made me feel so bad. when we told my dad , he wouldn’t speak to me.
we went on and went to counseling and met with an adoption agency, but soon realized we couldn’t give our little girl up, she was ours. my dad gave us two options, to give the baby up or to get married, cause he was having no part in any of the financial or emotional burdens. we talked it through and knew how much we loved each other and were best friends. we decided to get married.
with nobody on our side, we pushed through with wedding, housing, and financial planning. he had a good job as a farmer, and i had good grades, so i could finish school early and start in college right away in the fall. thats what we did. we then bought a house and started preparing.
just one month before our daughter was born we got married and moved in. now, seven months later, we’ve beaten the odds. my siblings have come around but my dad is still on edge. we seldomly speak, and he has only seen his granddaughter a handful of times. my husbands family is awesome, they are there for us through thick and thin.
we’ve been through and conquered a lot. and we couldn’t have done it without prayer, love for each other, love for our daughter, and love for our god.
I am in tears. Your story is so sad and yet so beautiful. You have had really difficult times in your life. Losing your mom, your rock and protector must have been so incredibly devastating. Then to lose your friends and family all in one fell swoop by being sent to a boarding school…wow. Maybe your dad did that to protect you from himself, but still it would have been so hard. Your courage and strength are just amazing. God truly sustained you through all of it. Your mom’s faith continues on through you, and now you can pass that on to your little girl! You have so much going for you…keep on keeping on! People told my boyfriend (now husband) that we wouldn’t be able to do it. We were too young…not financially stable, etc. But you know what? We ARE doing it! And so are you guys! It IS possible. Keep praying…keep loving…and you will have a life that is richly blessed. You will have your ups and downs…but everyone does…even those who get married and have a baby when all their “ducks are in a row”. Our lives will never be without suffering, but that suffering can cause us to grow become stronger! I am so inspired by you! Thank you for sharing your story.