21 weeks

It’s been awhile since my last update. Bubby has been kicking since the 15th week and I found out last week that I’m having a baby boy. Things still haven’t improved between my baby’s dad and I but I am starting to get used to the fact that we will never get back together, despite the fact that he says he loves me. He has had nothing to do with bub at all, hasn’t helped with stuff for bub and the nursery, and is still telling people that it isn’t his baby. I have had to pay for all of the things I have gotten for baby, had to do cleaning and shopping and he has been no help at all. He expects me to do everything. I seriously doubt we will be living in the same house for much longer. I have decided to call our son Kieran Xavier. He is so gorgeous. At the ultrasound last week he was kicking the scanning wand away and hiding from the cameras. And he flashed Nathaniel to show him he was a boy! Morning sickness still hasn’t passed so looks like it is something I will have to put up with. Along with back, rib and stomach pain, major hormone changes, high blood pressure and prenatal depression. I really can’t wait until it is time for Kieran to be born. But things aren’t easy, I am finding it hard to find baby items that I need and there is only 4 and a half months left. Plus I still have to finish planning my baby shower which is about 2 and a half months away. I still havent even found a new house and I have to start doing that soon if I am going to have a place for me and Kieran to live when he is born. He really is everything to me and I am so glad there was never serious doubt as to whether or not I would keep him. My life has changed so much but I believe it is for the better because he has given me so much purpose