hi, i know a lot of you heard the same story over and over again. But I'm new to this and I really really think I need help. I'm very confused. I may not be as young as anyone else here who got pregnant early but I really don't know what to do. I am as afraid as anyone else here thinking whats going to happen to them. I am 20 years old, 2 months pregnant. I haven't told my parents about this yet because I am very afraid of them more than I always was. One day I decided to be strong in keeping the baby and stick to that decision no matter what but I am still studying. Everytime I see my friends excited for graduation just shuts me down. I really bably want to graduate!!! But if I keep this baby, that dream's got to wait. And I dont think I want that to happen. I almost got over with shame which I will encounter thinking having the baby will be worth it. But it turns out I am not willing to give up my dreams. But whenever I see a baby I just want to cry and want to keep the baby so bad. But when I thought of what I'll be losing, I want the baby out right away. If only my boyfriend is not that useless then maybe I'll be so glad to keep this.
I also dont think the baby should take the blame for our irresponsible acts. But I cant risk everything just because of that one irresponsible sex!! OMG! My father is a retired soldier. He freaks me out ever since! I really think his gonna kill me or beat me to death if i'll tell them. I thought of running away, but what happens next? I dont even know how to do simple house chores! How am I be able to deal with a child?? If your thinking of giving it up for adoption after birth forget about it. I will not carry a baby for 9 months and have a painful labor with my studies torn apart then just give the baby away. I think that's worst than abortion.
Gosh, I guess I don't want to hurt my parents. They've given so much for me and excited for me to graduate next year. I'm afraid to disappoint them, which I already did. Why haven't I thought of this when I'm doing it! I feel so angry, cofused, pitiful, and whatever! I thought of commiting suicide to get this over fast. I like the thought but NEVER CAN DO IT. Can somebody please open my mind and lead me to decide whether to keep the baby or not. And give me a very good reason considering my situation. I really need a strong foundation to help me hold on with one decision. I'm going crazy here! I dont believe in abortion. But I need something to keep me strong. Please help me.