At the moment I am a bit over 6 months pregnant. I am so happy to be going through all of this, but, I can't stop thinking about my past. I am 19, so people repeatidly tell me how young I am to be pregnant. But, this time last year I fell pregnant to the same person I did this time. When I told my parents about this first pregnancy I was pretty much forced to abort. I never wanted to have it . I was 18 at the time so I did have my own say and choice, I just never spoke about it. I remember the whole process and not feeling like it was real. After the abortion I woke up screaming and crying. It was the worst time of my entire life. The regret I feel is something I have never felt before. I hate a part of myself for not speaking up. I feel I have destroyed a part of myself that I will never get back. What sucks the most is that this time I am so happy about being pregnant, that I know I would have been fine the first time. What right did I have to abort the first baby and keep this one? Every day I think about it, and it hurts.

I feel my baby now kick and move all the time. And it is the most beautiful feeling ever, nothing could replace it. I know it is a girl and we are going to call her Millie :] I already love her more than anything in this entire world, I just hope one day I can truely believe I made the right choice the first time.


Good luck to all the soon to be parents and new parents, I hope everything goes prefectly for you :].