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Anonymous
ok… im 17, unemployed, and pregnant with another mans baby. my boyfriend is wealthy and i live with him, but we dont get along alot of the time and he doesnt know how long he wants to be with me. so i cheated on him with his friend who is now in jail for assult (to a man). I really like him, but i dont know if i love him and i dont know how long he will be in jail… but his family wants me to keep it whereas my family doesnt want me to… i dunno.. just wanna know what you would do?
Danna
Colleen,
I know your situation must be hard, but there are a lot of things I didn’t seem to get straight, you say you’re living with your boyfriend but they baby’s father is your boyfriend’s friend, ok that’s clear but does your boyfriend knows he isn’t the father of your baby? There is a really important issue here, the baby’s father is in jail and he wouldn’t be able to give your child everything he/she will demand, my advice to you is not to get back with the father of your baby even if he gets out of jail soon, first of all your child will need a role model to look up to and a jail image isn’t exactly what a baby needs and second you’re not even sure if you love him, you just said "I like him", so please think about your child and think about the enviroment she/he needs. And since you said you don’t know how long your boyfriend will want you to stay with him, you should get a job and try to make a living for your own, it’s not an easy thing but believe you are gonna make it, I’ve been there. I gave birth when I was 15, I was scared and alone, the father of my baby wasn’t there for me, my parents turned their back on me but my loving sister gave me a place to live but she couldn’t afford having me there, so I went out and look for a job, that’s how I made it through, I helped her with her bills and stuff but at the same time I earned some money, and here I am, I’m 18 and mother to a 3 and a half years old beautiful girl. So my advice to you is to keep your baby, believe there isn’t anything more wonderful in this world than the moment you look for the first time right through your baby’s eyes.Best Wishes 🙂
Post edited by: Julie, at: 2005/11/29 13:13
Kit
Colleen,
I am a little confused. Does your boyfriend know that you are pregnant and that the baby is not his? Would your boyfriend be supportive of you and the child, even though it is not his. When you say "his family wants me to keep the baby" are you referring to your boyfriend’s family or to the father’s family?
If the baby’s biological father has a history of assault and is in jail it seems to send warning signs to me that this may not be someone you would want to be with and would potentially be a danger to you and the baby, at the very least not a very good role model unless his behavior changes.
Do you care about your relationship with your boyfriend? Have you tried working things out with him? If you have no desire to try to work on maintaining the relationship, then why are you still dating and living with him?
It sounds like you are in a difficult situation. I would still encourage you to give life to this baby, whether you decide to keep the baby and raise it or whether you decide to give it up for adoption.
Kate
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