Why am I feeling like this?

What you are experiencing is POST PARTUM DEPRESSION and you need to tell your doctor ASAP…they will not judge you or treat you like you’re crazy, I cannot speak for your family members or your boyfriend but in the end it really doesn’t matter what they think about you, this is life or death for you and possibly others…how do I know? Well just a few months ago I was walking down the highway screaming at my husband (who by the way is the most wonderful and loving man in the world) telling him that if he didn’t quit following me that I was going to jump in front of a car…I walked out of the house and left my newborn daughter on the table in a bouncer seat and had just verbally torn down my niece and yelled at the other kids…why? Because of the something the school bus driver had said…ridiculous huh…I had no control over my thoughts or actions and I was miserable the thing is that this is the best my life has ever been and I have so many reasons to jump for joy but all I felt like doing was jumping off a cliff and taking all who made me feel that way with me….long story short I am now on Lexapro and vitamin D3 and I am sooooo happy that I made it this far without taking my life or someone elses….I was unable to cry, I mean physically get tears, PPD is the worst thing I have ever experienced besides my moms suicide…seriously honey you need to talk to your doctor they hear these things all the time, get a support team around you, set very simple priorities and say no to everyone who asks ANYTHING of you, this is the time for you to get back to normal after all the hormone changes that pregnancy and birth brings….PPD can hit up to like 2 years after your baby is born sometimes, it is a serious medical/hormonal issue, not so much mental….if you feel angry at your son do your best to hand him off and if no one else is with you make sure he is in a safe spot with a clean diaper and go in the other room or sit on the porch or something, it is ok for him to cry alone for 20 minutes if that is what saves the both of your lives…seriously…also you need to tell your mom when you are in a mellow state about the temptation you face with her medication and ask that she keeps them in a safe place where you cannot get to them so that if you get that urge you cannot access them…I do not keep anything in lethal amounts in my house, not even cold medicine…I am here anytime you need to talk or vent about this, I am there too, just currently medicated…hang in there and make an appt ASAP and if they cannot get you in soon enough and you feel like doing something harmful go tot he ER, emergency room…I mean it!!! This doesn’t mean you don’t love your son, this doesn’t mean you are a bad mom, it is just hormones and they are powerful ones…I am here…Love Meg, I will be praying for you sweetie…

ok i honestly cant say i know how you feel because i havent had my baby yet, but my friends sister was the same..she was 18 when she had her baby and she said the night the baby was born she stood by a window holding the baby and wondered what would happen if she threw the baby out the window. Obviously she didnt do it and she loves her baby (who is now 2 or 3. But my point is you’re only young and its a huge responsibility and you’re only human to feel like its getting all on top of you.Just give yourself time to adjust and talk to your boyfriend, let him know how you feel, because maybe he feels the same? Even just talking to your mum or another relative may help, just so there aware of whats going on.. anyway i’m sorry i cant give any better advice than that..xxxx

Autumn this is post natal depression. Your mother has probably heard of it or knows about it. She will be concerned for you and your baby if you don’t get yourself treated. Just tell her BROOKE SHIELDS had it. She even wrote a book about it! check it up. You could hurt your son and you have to put him ahead of all your other feelings! PRAY! Have Faith. I have a feeling that pnd is related to the works of the devil. Don’t worry, you’re probablfeel like you’re crazy – I had a bit of it too! You’re not. Phone your doctor if you can’t tell him in person or go to another doctor. Or find a place on the net that could help you. You don’t have to explain how you feel or what your thoughts are, just say that you think you have post natal depression, okay. The doctor understands and has probably seen the condition before. Forget everything else, just get help for your babies sake and yours!