Turning a New Leaf!

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      Hey Girlies.
      Well as most of you know I lost my daughter almost a year ago on May 4, 2007… I have had a really hard time moving on and it stills pains me to think that she isnt here, but recently my hubby (daughters father) wants another baby. It has been a really hard decision and I am not quite sure about it, but I trusted him and I just found out…. IM PREGNANT!… I am happier than I have been in a year. I fell like I have something to look forward to and I can breathe again. I miss Kennah with all my heart has, but I am begining to realize that there is room for happiness as well.Anyway I am just nervous about this one I already am so protective for it and you cant even tell I am pregnant yet. I have dreams that we are in the hospital and its dying like kennah… i dunno I am happy yet … still soo scarred.


        Congratulations Dev…I wanted to share with you that I have had horrible dreams throughout this whole pregnancy, very graphic visual dreams about catching my baby in my hands when I go to the bathroom and then watch my very small, underdeveloped baby take just a few breaths and then die in my hand…I have woken up bawling and crying and I have fought negative thoughts and fears this whole 6 months…I still have 3 to go…I had to come to a place where I cannot base my happiness or hope in an end result…I have faced miscarriage early on, spotting and contractions at the half way point, now we are in limbo about a possible fatal birth defect…it has not been easy to keep my head up, stay attached to my baby, and have a smile on my face when people ask how my pregnancy is going…but god has been good to me and in this last month He has picked me up and helped me to see that whether we lose the baby or not that I can smile and enjoy my pregnancy while it lasts, even with the risk of it coming to an early end…I am so happy for you and I understand your fears and concerns and that it can be confusing to be so happy and scared at the same time, it can make you feel crazy, my hope and prayer for you is that you will start enjoying your pregnancy earlier on than I did and that you will not waver if something were to happen…even if you face miscarriage just keep your head up and enjoy every moment of this baby being in your womb, even when you have the bad dreams you can wake up and know that you made it one more day with a healthy baby and you can look forward to better dreams that will come, I love you and I am here and I am so stinkin happy for you that I can hardly sit still, just do not let your joy be robbed in this wonderful time…Love Meg


          Congratulations Devyn!
          Sending all my positive thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Hope all goes well for you.:kiss:


            Congrats on the pregnancy…i have bad dreams too. About the baby being born early, or something going wrong in labour and it dying, or not being able to get to the hospital when in labour…hopefully they are just bad dreams.
            The best of luck to you.:)


              Yay! Good for you!


                I am very happy for you. I am glad that you are being blessed with another child. NOt that it will ever take the place of your dd, but that it will share in the love you have in your heart still.

                KUP on your healthy pregnancy. 🙂


                  It was very traumatic for you so i think its all normal to feel this way. Im glad you are feeling happier


                    Congratulations Devyn!

                    Whilst your new bubba will never replace your daughter, I hope it brings you lots of happyness, and love. Im very happy for you 🙂

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