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Anonymous
My boyfriend and I were togther for about a year when our relationship ended abrubtyl. This happened because I started liking some other guy and ended up kissing him. I deeply regret my actions with all of my heart, and I now have no feelings whatsoever for this guy. My boyfriend and I relationship was a hard one to end because our feelings for eachother were so intense, so even now, three months after our breakup, one would still think we were togther. Recently though, my boyfriend confessed to me that he really didn’t really love me anymore and he didn’t see us getting back togther. This crushed me because I am still deeply in love with him. But he also decided that it was the time in our physical relationship to start having sex. Both of us are virgins and I had always dreamed about losing my virginity to him, but I don’t know if I could anymore knowing that it wouldn’t mean the same to him, knowing that to him it would just be a "fun time." Before breaking up, we always ! planned on getting married also, and this doesn’t look as if it’s going to happen either. We talked about the consequences of having sex, namely me getting pregnant, and he already established that if I were to get pregnant, then he would learn to love me again, he would never leave me, and he would plan on marrying me. The thing is, if we were to have sex, I would hope with all of my heart that I would become pregnant so we could be togther again. This probably isn’t the best way to be looking at a situation, but I love this guy with all of my heart and I know he still has feelings about me, I just couldn’t bear to not marry him! But I don’t know if I am thinking logically or not! Please advise me on this situation. Thank you very much
I was 15 when I had my first boyfriend. He was my first kiss, and I thought I loved him deeply. Fast-forward eight years. We are now happily married and contemplating our first child. I thought I loved him back then; oh love is so much stronger now. We waited until we were married (at age 21 and 22) to sleep with each other…and that was when I finally realized that we never would have been married, never would have been this happy if we gave in before that. STAY STRONG. Feelings are so intense when you are in high school. I know that. But you CAN resist! And if things are meant to work out– they will, and will be better than if you had given in. And if things aren’t meant to work out, you will find someone more amazing, who cherishes you more than you ever imagined possible, who will be so grateful that you saved yourself for him. Just my own little opinion, but you can save yourself so much heartache by waiting. Babies are miracles. They are miracles whenever they come. But they don’t save failing relationships (read all the stories on this site!). Wait just a little longer and you will find out how much happiness can be yours.
JBurks7819
No, honey having a baby in order to stay togethere is not logical at all. If he loves you than he should love you whethere or not yall have se or babies
alright this may seem to be the thing to do now..but dont do it…my ex told me the same stuff but its selfish i think ur going to bring up a baby in the world just so you can have your boyfriend back i dont think its fair to the baby…you should wait untill you are ready when u have everything in your life worked out then u should think about having a kid….but not so u can keep your boyfriend cuz in a few years everything might change you two might hate each other and that wouldnt be right for the baby…just think about it with your heart and mind not on how much u wnat him back
Hey my best advice to you is that "a baby won’t hold a man." take my advice because i wanted a baby with my boyfriend and we had it, I though he was ganna be with me, but 7 months later he cheating on me, with a girl who wanted to get pregnant by him too but she didn’t see in my picture? that a baby won’t hold a man?.
HI MY IS TURAJILL CONDRY OF COURSE AND THIS IS MY STORY.OK LOOK I’M 15 NOW AND ME MY SO CALLED BOYFRIEND HAVE BEEN GOING TOGTHER FOR3 YEARS (OFF AND ON). HE SAID HE LOVES ME BUT SOMETIMES ITS LIKE HE DOESN’T CARE AT ALL. WELL THE POINT IS WE PLANNED ON GETTING MARRIED RIGHT WHEN WE GEET OUT OF COLLEGE.WE ALSO PLAN TO HAVE SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME WHEN WE GET MARRIED.BUT HE JUST KEEPS ASKIN WHEN WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX ,BUT I’M NOT REALLY READY EVEN THOUGH I TRY TO ACT LIKE IT, FOR HIMOF COURSE. I REALLY LOVE HIM BUT HE DOESN’T KNOW WHEN TO QUITE ASKING THAT QUESTION.I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU CAN GET PREGNANT ON THE FIRST OR SECOND TIME ,SO THIS WEB SITE HAS REALLY TAUGHT ME ALOT OF THIGS I DIDN’T THINK ABOUT AT FIRST.NOW I’M HIGH SCHOOL AND THE QUESTION REMAINS. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO. SHOULD I JUST GO ALONG AND TAKE MY CHANCES OR JUST LISTEN.IF HE KEEPS ASKING, I FEEL LIKE I’M JUST GOING TO EXPLODE.SO WHAT SHOULD I REALLY DO.SHOULD FIND ANOTHER PERSON TO BE WITH OR JUST BE HIS FOLLWER? :huh: :unsure:
listen i used to think that to but you need to think of the baby, money, educaton, support, family. you need it all! dont let some mindless little boy bring you down!
that was so true. its inspirational!
Lauren,
Getting pregnant is a wonderful thing but hoping to get pregnant just to keep him is wrong. I wasnt trying to get pregnant by my first love when I was 15 but I did. Well things were going good for a while but he left me when I was 4 months pregnant with out daughter. She is now 6 and I am 23. I thought well he will never leave me. He promised he would marry me after we found out we were having a baby. I can say this dont want to get pregnant just to keep him because knowning that he doesnt love you will be a hard thing to deal with for the rest of your life. I knew my daughters father didnt love me so when we tried to work things out when she was 1 yrs old I had to let him go. It was one of the hardest things but I knew it was the right thing to do. I didnt want to hold him back from finding the love I felt for him. So if he really loves you he will willingly come around and then wait for a while before having a baby. It will be for the best in the end. Trust me, I have since then found a new love and that is my husband of 5 yrs on the 31st of this month……..honestly, having a baby wont save a relationship that wasnt made to last. you have to think about it…people say a lot of things..but do they honestly mean them??? cuz i mean im sure you’re young unless you wouldnt even be contemplating it..but if it was meant to be it was meant to be, and just let time do it’s thing and deal with it. you dont want to make any decisions that you’re going to regret..especially a decision with such big reprocussions…like another human life. it’s not just your life or his life that will be effected by this pregnancy but also the child that you will be raising. you have your whole life to live and if it’s not him you will find someone else who will love you..without having to be pregnant or have sex in order for him to be with you.
i had my first boyfriend between the ages of 12 and 15. (we were together for 3 years) to be perfectly honest with you at that age you are not capable of being in love and should not be having sex. i lost my virginity to him when i was 14. he treated me like your bf treats you only worse. when they say they dont love you, they dont. no matter how bad it hurts. and when they say they could learn to if you had a baby. that is them trying to get into your pants. i like you thought i was madly in love despite all the abuse and mean things he said and did to me. at 15 we decided to be less careful and actually tried getting me pregnant for about 2 months. (thank go i didnt get pregnant) we actual thought that if i did we could live together and get married. our relationship ended very badly i was obsessed and hanging on to anything we had left. sleeping with him even when he told me he didnt love me and didnt want to be with me. it made me feel used, ugly, and discusting. finally i gained the strength to leave him. like i learned and so will you, you are young and there are so many other people in this world more worthy of your love and your body. dont give something so precious to someone who doesnt deserve it. there will be someone else. i started dating my best guy friend right after we broke up, thinking we would never last and nothing would be as it was when i was with him. and you know what, weve been together for four years now. we have our own apartment and our deeply in love. he is everything i wish my first boyfriend was and more. till this day i regret loosing my virginity to him and wish i had waited. and i thank go every day he didnt get me pregnant. what would i have done if he had? i wouldnt be with my boyfriend. i wouldnt know what real love feels like. i would of been alone begging again for someones love that was never there, only this time id have a baby to take care of on top of it. trust me dont do it. dont even start having sex with him. just break it off. i know it hurts but trust me love is out there, right around the corner. and if you waste your life wishing someone would just love you or just treat you different or just grow up. you will never have a chance to find someone who already is all these things you wish for. pleae trust me. you will be so much happier.
NO!!!!!!Not under any sercumstances shuld you have sex with some one that dosent love you or just to make thim happy!You have value that he dosent see!By telling you that he wants to have sex with you after telling you he dosent love you he is saying(you hurt me,now im going to hurt you back)He is disrespecting you and playing on you feeling for him ,witch by the way is wrong.You need time to get over this break up .thats the only thing that will mend you broken heart.Respect youself and tell him no and if hes worth your love he will respect you too ,if he dosent he just wasnt the guy you thought he was whin you fell for him.rember you will always rember you first time,do you want it to be of having one way love and a guy who used you for sex?I dont think so.Value your body,sperit and mind your worth it!
The best thing you can do is get him alone away from your friends but not in like a make out place!Perferably in daylight and tell him(I need to talk to you abought our relanship,You know how I feel abought you I think Iv made that realy clear you know im a vergin and sex is a dechion I cant just make lightly.I have to know Im reddy emoshional ,physicaly and mentaly whin I do decide the time is right I want it to be with you but Im feeling presshered abought moving to the nex step in this relanship,just give me time and ill let you know whin Im reddy untell thin lets just enjoy eachouther and have a good time)This usualy works although Id like to point out that the right time is on you wedding night,Pointing out that your not takeing this lightly might put you in a new light for him and he could see you with a higher sence of respect and admeration and saying your planning on being with hi gives him a sence of security as well I might add looseing your verginity on you wedding night adds to commetment and trust in a merrage(This is A good thing)
I hate to say it but if he doesn’t love you now, he wont love you if you have his baby. He will only grow to resent you & the innocent child, he will feel trapped & most likely will leave you. Even if he doesn’t leave you, he will never be really happy, which means that niether will you or your baby. Please don’t have sex with a guy who doesn’t love you, even if you do love him. Wait ’till you find someone who who loves you & respects you, not someone who wants to use you for a "fun time". You deserve better. You deserve love.
I know exactly how you feel. I did the same thing. When my relationship with my boyfriend started to fall apart i thought that the only way i could make him stay with me was to sabatogue the condom and get myself pregnant. Well it worked and when i told him he wasnt the happyiest but he promised that he would never leave me to take care of the baby alone. He left me when i was 8 months pregnant.For one of my friends. I havent seen him since. My baby is 11 months old with no real father. Sometimes i wish i could go back in time and never had his baby. But then i woundnt have my beauful daughter eden. Im just telling you your taking a risk. AND if the love isnt mutual you got to leave him, as hard as it will be you really need to .Cause he just taking advantage of you and your letting him.
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