totally torn and scared

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      i am 21 years old and just found out i am pregnant. i have been with this guy for a year and a half (friends long before that) but he won’t commit to me, now i am pregnant and he wants no part of it, he doesn’t want to have it. i have been down that road (abortion) from a previous very abusive relationship. he doesn’t want to even talk about the possibility of having it. he thinks my family would not approve and make my life so much harder b/c he is black and i am white. i am almost done with college, i am just scared i won’t be able to finish, i am scared if i do what he wants i wont be able to handle it emotionally. i am just scared. i have read so many stories of girls younger and in less stable situations than me being able to do it, i just don’t know if i can do it all alone. See i also am living where i am because of him pretty much i no longer have any friends here, they have all moved in the last couple months and even if my parents supposrt me eventually they are 1200 miles away and both my sisters live even farther than that and I AM NOT moving closer to them. Help!! TOTALLY lost!! *Beth*


        Dear Beth,

        I’m sure you ARE totally torn and scared. I would have been, too, if I had been pregnant at 21. I would just encourage you to choose life for your baby. There are so many blessings that come, especially when that little guy (or girl) kisses you softly on the cheek. Priceless. Make room in your life for a child. Yes, life will be hard, but it’s soooo worth it. If you choose abortion, you’ll only have regrets and guilts for literally decades to come. God created this baby and He already knows him/her. He can certainly give you the strength to raise and take of it. Or, you could be a blessing to someone else if you decide to choose adoption. There are so many couples waiting, and even ones that would have an open arrangement. The negative consequences of abortion never go away. The negative consequences of raising a child (or choosing adoption) get lost in the heaps of blessings. Email me if you want.


          Hey beth…my name is shawna….I know how you feel…But i have only been with my bf for 3 mths. I found out on sept 15th that I am pregnant. He also wants me to have an abortion, I dont know what to do. I am 23 and he is 28, He is not responsible and says he will wait outside when i go to my first doctors appt. He isn’t being supportive. I do have my sister here for me but my mom lives miles and miles away. I am so scared to have this baby but afraid to have an abortion. you said you had an abortion in the past. how did you deal with this? and do you think i will be able to get past it? Please respond…thanks!


            It is not his choice. He is obviously scared too, and too immature to accept responsibility. Bottom line is – he will have to pay child support or go to jail if he does not.

            I can 99% guarantee your folks would come around, even if the don’t approve at first. That’s what parents and family are for – to love you no matter what – and they will love that little one too.

            If you’e going through hell, keep on going, before the devil even knows you’re there. Just keep going, and you can do it. There is child support and government assistance programs for a reason.


              God will never give you more then you can handle. Be strong. My daughter is half Lebanese and my x didn’t want anything to do with her because she was a "half breed" HA! Mixed babies are so cute. Your bf obviously was never your friend so don’t let him pressure you. Your baby will begorgeous!

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