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Anonymous
A little about me: I’m 23 years old, graduated from college in June, still live at home, have an OK paying job and my boyfriend and I have been together for just 6 months. My boyfriend: 21 years old, lives with his dad, never went to college and doesn’t have a well paying job.
My boyfriend and I have talked about what we would do if I ever got pregnant and we agreed that it wouldn’t fit into our lives now and we wouldn’t have means to support it. It’s easy to say how you would react to a situation but it’s quite different when you are faced with it. I’m almost 8 weeks pregnant and I felt like he wasn’t giving me a choice but just telling me I had to get rid of it. I felt like I couldn’t do it on my own and I’m afraid of telling my parents because it would dissapoint them.
On the way to the clinic I cried and I didn’t want to get out of the car. My boyfriend said we had no choice. I got upset because there IS a choice. I want to chose life but I don’t have his support. When we got there I cried as I got the sonogram and blood work. I told my boyfriend I didn’t want to do this and I wanted to go home. With an unconcerned look on his face he said we HAVE to do this. When I went into counseling I cried more and decided after hearing about the pain of taking the abortion pill and how it lasts for 30 days I couldn’t do it. He wasn’t happy that we came all that way for nothing but when I told him about the pain he didn’t want me to go through that. He said I could have the surgical procedure instead. He says the guilt will go away and I’ll be better off. I’m just ending a process not killing a baby.
I get upset with myself because I have a college degree and with enough hard work I could eventually get a decent job and support the baby. But is it fair to have a baby with the father not around or have a father around out of obligation and not because he wants to? If he worked hard enough we could do this but he doesn’t want to.
I’m so scared that I will make the wrong decision. I’m scared I’m making an emotional decision and not a logical one. I’m cutting my life short before it even begins. Where do I get money to support this child? I have to make a choice quick! With all this against me how do I stand up?
🙁hi,
If you don’t think you ready to have the baby, or that it isn’t fair to give him the life you have to offer, you could always put him up for adoption. By doing this you would give the child and the adoptive parents a wonderful gift, You could even do an open adoption if you want to, and see the child once in a while as they grow up. If you can stick it out a few months, you will be doing something amazing. If you feel against the abortion, don’t let yourself be pushed into it or made to think you want one when you don’t. You are in my prayers.
TeresaJonluver
If i can do it, you can do it. i’m only 19 and never went to college. Neither did my fiancee. I’m sure your family or friends would help you.
Being a mother is the most rewarding thing ever!! When i look at my daughters face i wanna melt. I wouldn’t change it for the world and i would do all over again in a heartbeat.
And to be honest with you it isn’t as hard as everyone makes it seem. She is only 3 weeks old but i thought it would be much harder! I can’t wait to another one!!!I was sixteen when I found out that I was pregnant with my first child. I had no money. I decided to keep my baby and do anything that I could to give him a good life. There are so many programs today that can help you raise your baby like WIC, they will pay for your baby’s food for you. And there is housing assistance, and job assistance, and daycare assistance. You can do it, I did, and it was hard, but it is worth it every step of the way, all I have to do is look at my toddlers sweet little face, and I remember why I do it all.
LOHO3
Honey, if you feel the right thing to do is to have this little baby, then have him. You are right, you do have a choice and at the end of the day, the choice is yours as is the baby. If your boyfriend wants to be an idiot and walk out on you and this little baby, let him. It’s his loss. He’ll be the one missing out, not you or the baby (well, the baby will be but would you rather he has a wanker dad that’ll hurt him emotionally all his life or not know his dad?). It’s your body and whatever happens to it is up to you. I know how you feel, I faced the same proberlm early in my pregnancy (I’m now a week overdue – and sick to death of it lol), and I decided to keep her. And I think it’s the best decission I’ve ever made to date because very soon I’ll be bringing someone into this world, someone that will love me more then any one else ever could. At first my boyfriend and no one else wanted me to have this baby as I’m only 16 but now everyone couldn’t be happier. I truly believe that if I had an abortion I’d be a right mess. You have to make this decission for you. No one else. Because if you do the wrong thing you will be the one to suffer, not your boyfriend. And trust me, how can the wrong thing be to bring a baby into this world?
Love me xxxxxDid you keep the baby?
im 20. i have a five month old. my bf is 21, has a low paying job. i live at home, he lives with his grandfather. jonluver is right, its not hard. and it is soooo worth it. ya know how they count the first day you get pregnant from the first day of your last normal period? that day for me was the day joe and i started dating. he didnt want to be a father until 2 weeks before she was born. he thought he couldnt do it. my parents are nothing but supportive, and my mom watches her while i go to work and class. -im still in college.
my point is you make your own decisions. everything is ok in the end, if its not ok its not the end and it is sooooo worth it to keep your baby. your life doesnt end it begins-you see everything differently!
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