The Aftermath…What can I do?

I was also 19 and in college when I found out that I was pregnant. My boyfriend was very supportive but for many of the same resons, we also chose abortion. We later married and have been married for 13 years, but this has been a tension between us. He was born and raised Catholic and I had no formal religious upbringing. I have since converted to Catholisim and have only recently come to terms (17 years later) with my choice. I don’t know where you are in your faith journey, but I have found comfort knowing that I was to become a tool that God can use to stop others from making the same mistake I made and to help those who have already made the choice understand why they made it and what they can do with their experience. First, you must forgive yourself, then ask for God’s forgivness. This was very hard for me because I felt like a hypocrite. I struggled with going to reconciliation for 5 years after I became Catholic. I was so scared that others would judge me. I have come to see that if a person is truly a friend, they will understand. I have been blessed with four children and don’t know the full extent of your pain of never having your own children. Maybe God has other plans for you. Maybe there are some children that are going to need a home through adoption. I don’t know, just please be open to all possibilities and know that God does forgive you and is with you always. I will keep you in my prayers.

Post edited by: pharmon, at: 2005/04/05 05:10

I am in the same situation. I’m 22, in college and just had an abortion. It was the worst experience of my life. My boyfriend said he was not ready and my parents threatened to disown me (which I now realize was entirely selfish of them). I went ahead with it. I do feel regret. I cry constantly and I am just not myself. I am sorry that you may not be able to have children one day. If you can’t, there are wonderful children just waiting to be adopted. I know it’s hard to deal with all of these feelings, but just trust what you did and try to forgive yourself. I’m not going to tell you that God will forgive you, because I am not a religious person. Just forgive yourself, that is most important.

Hello Stephanie. My name is Claire and i can really relate to what you are going through. I hated myself for a very long time and still get a little sad about what might have been when i think about what i did. I had an abortion at the age of 18. I sometimes have the same fears of not being able to become pregnate, and others judging me for what i have done in my past. But one thing that helps me realize what a beautiful life i live today is that just because i messed up back then, doesn’t mean that i have to make the same mistakes that lead up to me having an abortion. Also, in order for me to learn from my mistakes, i must not forget my past. My past is my greatest asset for continuing to learn, love and help others. See, what you wrote in your post helped me. You helped me remeber what is like to feel like no one knows how i feel.Today i KNOW for a fact that i am not alone. This website proves it. Today i try to share my experience to others who are having similar problems. I think you writing what you did in your post was awsome and i really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. It was very hard for me to open up in the beginning about what i had done. I still have a hard time talking about it sometimes. But i know that things will get better if i continue to do the next right thing in my daily life. ( meaning checking my motives, seeing if i am doing something because of fear, trying not to hurt other by my actions, being as honest as i can….the list goes on and on) I am not perfect, and i still screw up. But I love myself today. And i am pretty sure if you keep on expressing yourself, maybe get somes sort of support group outside of this, and keep on trying to become a better person by being honest with yourself, that life will become better and you will be just fine. I say this because ,in a nut shell, that is what i did. Thanks- Claire

I AM A TEEN MOTHER I GOT PREGNANTAT THE AGE OF 16 IAM 17 NOW AND I ADORE MY BABYGIRL WHEN THE BABY WAS CONCIVED I DID NOT KNOE WHAT TO DO BECAUSEMY PARENT WHERE NOT GOING TO ALLOW ME TO HAVE THE BABY AND THE BABYS DAD WAS MY EX WHO I WAS WITH FOR 3 YEARS. I MADE MY DECISION IN KEEPING THE BABY BUT MY PARENTS KICKED ME OUT OF MY HOUSE AND THE FATHER DOES NOT EVEN KNOW I HAD A BABY I HAVE MANAGED TO BE A SINGLE MOTHER IT COST ME ALOT OF HARD WORK BUT ME AND MY BABY ARE IN GOOD HEALTH I JUST WANTED TO SAY FOR THOSE WHO THINK THAT YOU NEED YOUR BF TO BE THERE FORYOUDURING YOUR PREGNACY ITS NOT EVEN MUCHLIKE THAT JUST MAKE SURE YOU HAVE THE SUPPORT OF SOMEONE YOU LOVE

Hi melissa ,my name is marilyn and I was wondering how did you manage to support yourself as well as your baby ? what type of help did you manage to get you know being somewhat homeless and alone?