taking my life back (healing again)

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      Ever since the abortion me and my mother have no relationship anymore. I refuse to talk to her about my feelings or my life as if i completely shut her out. How can I shut out the woman who gave life to me? who took care of me when i was in the hospital sick. .. I feel like i hold a very bad grudge against her for the one thing she made me do.. that completely altered who i was and what i believe in..that made me vulnerable and weak (like superman and kryptonite) Just when i think im starting to heal the process starts all over again….Sadness,anger,regret. I’m trying so hard to take my life back and start over and my mom is doing nothing to help me..She only makes it worse. She sometimes reminds me of THe Pain I caused HeR and how She is broken -Hearted and all this crap i don’t want to hear from her but she just throws it all in my face like i just asked for everything that happened to me. Oh yeah i wanted to get pregnant and have an abortion and then feel the lifetime of pain and heart-ache. I pray to God that he can hear my heart crying for just a little bit of happiness to get me through the day…but i have decided that im going to take my life back and i will fight if i have to, I will climb mountains if i have to, I will swim in oceans if i have to. But all i know is that i’m taking my life back and it starts today.


        have you ever told your mother how much she has hurt you n how you feel maybe you n her should go to counsling i ddint mean that in a rude way this is your mom i dont believe in abortion but i also think you need your mom i lost mine 4 yrs ago n you dont want to regret anything this could go on for life sit her down n tell her you dont think its fair that she acted the way she did n you wanted your baby n loved your baby no matter how anyone else felt thats how you feel. yes i agree you need to take control of your life but its ok to be upset as long as the other person your mad at knows n why.


          Way to go Stand Up Girl…I know what that fight is like…I have not had and abortion but I have had to fight for my life (joy, peace, happieness, self esteem, etc.etc.) when you make that choice to Stand Up and you are purposing to climb those mountains you will see healing begin and you will find a new motivation to keep walking…you mentioned that you are praying to God that He would hear your cries…well He does…if you have faith as a mustard seed and say to that mountain..be cast into the sea…then it shall be done…hold tight to that faith that you have and you will not only climb over those mountains but you will eventually cast them into the sea…I know how hard it is to forgive your mom…you feel like she should have been the one to protect you but she is the one who has hurt you deeper than anyone else ever could…my mom took her own life when I was 3 1/2 months pregnant with my first…I found her body…I was so angry that she would do something like that and leave her body for me to find…I was angry that my baby was not enough for her to stick around to see…I was so lost and hurt and I felt dissplaced…that body that I came out of no longer existed (cremation)…forgiving my mom was one of the hardest things I have ever done…she wasn’t even here to ask forgiveness and to give forgiveness to…she will never know that I found her, she will never know what she did to me that day…she doesn’t have to carry that but I did for a long time….I finally got to the point that I Stood Up and I told myself that it wasn’t my fault and I forgave her for what she did, after all, she must have hurt so badly in order to do that, she must have felt abandoned by the world, I will never know what the last thing that went through her head was…but I forgive her and I have made the choice to NEVER put my kids through something like that…I have struggled with suicidal thought on and off for my whole life but I have made the choice to not follow those foot steps because I know what it does to those left behind…I don’t know you or your mom so I couldn’t tell you the best way to go about this whole forgiveness issue but I can tell you most of my healing has taken place after I forgave my mom….I am so excited to see what kind of amazing things will happen in your life now that you are taking it back…I am so happy for you…let me know if you ever need to chat….Love Meg


            That is so awesome lady! I know you can do it 🙂


              I understand how you feel. My parents forced me into abortion and I don’t really talk with my mom about my personal life anymore. We still are good friends despite the lack of personal communication, but she just pretends like it never happened and that they made me do the right thing. Its really frustrating. You need someone to talk to my ears are open. I understand


                way to go…. i like your attitude. I had an abortion a couple of years ago. 3 days before I turned 18… it was really hard, i didnt want it but my mom had made me, my bf was so against it.i felt angry at my mom for the longest time, until i realized that what i did, was my decision. I chose to listen to my mom whom i love dearly and i chose her over my child whom i had never met and would never get the chance to meet. I wanted her support at the time and she told me she wouldnt be there if i had the baby,,,, who knows…. maybe she woulda come around. As time passes, you’ll make peace with it. you are forgiven if you ask for forgiveness but forgive yourself. It was a decision that was made and we can only move forward. You have alot to be angry about but im glad to hear that you wouldnt let it hold you back. I got pregnant the year after my abortion and that made things easier for me, unfortunately, i lost my daughter when she was 5 days old. That was the hardest thing i dealt with and for a while I thought i was responsible, but i forgive myself and i hope that god has forgiven me, Today, we are stronger women because of the events that have taken place in the past in our lives. Good luck and keep in touch


                  I pray that since you’ve written this 4 months ago, that you have grown to realize that every single tear you drop, God catches them in his hands. He hears your cry and he knows every pain you feel. Its hard to forgive, but you will not recieve a healing until you forgive, because forgiveness is a part of healing. No one says that when you forgive, you must forget. But the forgiveness gets you more sleep. I like that in your subject box, you put taking my life back. Thats what you must do. If the enemy feels like he can keep you feeling defeated, then he’s going to keep using everything in your past to confuse you. There’s a song that I always sing. Its called, "Faithful is our God." Some of the words are: I’m reaping the harvest God promised me, taking back what the devil stole from me…This means, everything that God has promised me, I am recieving them, and everything that the devil took away from me, like my joy, my strength, my happiness, what ever you feel, TAKING IT BACK. Like I said before, you MUST take it back. Claim your victory, because you’ve already won…


                    Way to go! You are such a brave and amazing person and you will be greatly rewarded in life and love. The world thanks you for being brave and standing up for your beautiful self!

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