so confused

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      I am new to these forums so please bear with me:

      Okay my problem (may be long sorry)

      I am 24 years old and very happily engaged with a 21 month old son. My son was not planned. He was conceived while I was using NuvaRing. He has been an absolute blessing. Since then my fiance and I have been extra careful when having sex because we had both agreed on never having kids and we really aren’t planning to have anymore.

      the thing is that I’m almost 100% sure that I am pregnant. I have all the classic signs. I am sick all day, headaches, stomach cramps, no period..etc…but I am TERRIFIED to take a pregnancy test because I just know that it will be positive. I do not want another child ( i realize that when you have sex you risk becoming pregnant). I’m just so lost as to what to do. I know the longer I wait the worse it will be on the child but I get physically ill when I think of taking a pregnancy test. It’s like I know but I don’t want to know.

      I do not believe in abortion but i’m afraid that it will be discussed. I could not take on another child ( i had bad ppd and still have bouts of it occasionally) and I’m just scared.

      I’m sorry this sounds so insane but I just had nowhere else to turn too..thanks for listening.


        Dear Dragonfly,
        You have to take the pregnancy test, not taking the test won’t make the situation disappear. Once you find out for sure you can work on a plan of action with your fiancee, they are other options other than abortion, you could give this one up for adoption or have family members help you out and such. Now this is what I found out about birth control such as the patch and ring is that it is not very effective if you are above a certain weight. I found that out at a abortion clinic after I had an abortion ( horrible experience that I regret daily). The nurse at the clinic gave me a prescription for a 4 month supply of pills and I had noticed some other girls had a choice of the pill, patch or ring, I asked the nurse why they got to choose what they wanted and I didn’t, she had told me that the patch and ring wasn’t very effective for women of a certain weight, it just didn’t have enough hormones to stop ovulation for them. Now I am not fat or anything, I’m really tall for a girl ( almost 6ft) so I am in a higher weight class, which could be the same case for you. So for future reference just take the pill, and take the pregnancy test and let us know how you are doing, because we are all here to support you 🙂 With much Love,


          First off relax. Second, don’t have an abortion!!! I best firend got pregnant with her second child when her daughter was 8 months old. He boyfiend and her had decided that they didn’t want anymore kids right after the baby had been born. So when she found out she was pregnant she just tried to ignore it. But it was very hard because she had rh was very very sick. As she got close tothe end of the third month she called planned parenthood. She setup an appointment to have an abortion. And she went through with it.
          She regrets it so much. Everday she has to get up and she her daughter and know that she murdered her little brother or sister. Is that what you want to live with for the rest of your life? That gulit?
          I also have another firend who had her son when she was 16. She is now 19. A couple months ago she found out she was pregnant again. She immedtaly made an appointment to have an abortion. But when the day came around she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She is now 7 months happily pregnant. She is so excited. She found out that she’s having another boy!! She couldn’t be happier!!!


            thank you for the reply. we went to the dr. today and found out that we were 13wks 6days pregnant. After seeing the u/s picture we believe that we may keep it. My fiance is very pro-life and wants very much to keep it. I’ve always been pro-life for myself but now I don’t know what I am. I understand that it’s a very hard decision to make and I am struggling with it myself. I have made an appt. to speak with a counselor and will take things from there. thank you for the help and I will keep you updated. I’m afraid an abortion would tear my family apart.

            scorpi266–i am overweight and was never told that about the ring? that makes me angry.

            I also have some questions. If I change my mind and decide on an abortion is it more expensive after 12wks? how do they do it? how much longer do I have to make a decision?

            I tried to look this stuff up on the internet and all I found were sights with bad images on them.

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