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Anonymous
Hi, I’m Chrissy and I turned 18 recently. I have an illness called endometriosis that could leave me infertile.
I want children so badly. I have been told that the longer I wait to have children the more difficult it will be to conceive.
I don’t care when I have a family but I just want to have children one day. As long as I could have children I would do it now. Other things would have to wait like uni. It would just be doing things backwards.
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. He is very supportive.
Should I have a baby now or should I take my chances and wait?
Chrissy x
beautiful_soul86
Hi Chrissy,
What a very hard time you are going through. I am really sorry that this has happened to you, sometimes life seems so unfair.
Firstly, you have alot of thinking to do and noone but you and your boyfriend can make the decision for you because ultimately it concerns you. I have a very strong desire to have children, so I can understand where you are coming from, I really can. If I was told my chances were decreasing I would probably think the same.
You need to think about the following things:
*Your education – your dreams for employment? will you get thru school? what will you do with the baby? will this effect your chances to get a job in the future?
*Money/Finacial – babies are very expensive, I have heard quoted once that just to feed and clothe a baby until they are 18 it will cost $250,000 plus and that doesnt include other expenses and treats and schools books and stuff. Will you be able to afford a baby? Can you and your boyfriend support yourself and the baby? Will you live at home? Can you afford to rent? Can you afford the doctor/medical bills and consultations? Furnature, clothes, food, toys etc?
* will you be able to get parental support? Is there other supportservices in your area?
*Have you discussed this with your doctor? Is there an increased chance of miscarriage? Is there anyway to store the eggs you have and use them for IVF in the furture? Is there any procedure out there that could save your eggs for a furture time?Thats what I can think of off the top of my head. As I said, there is alot to think about and Im really sorry you are going thru this I really am.
Please post and update us on your situation. Please ask me any questions, even if I dont know the answer I will look it up for you. I did have a list of things you need to buy for a newborn… I’ll look for it and try to post it up for you.
Thinking of you,
Hugs and Love,
MEGANhey chrissy, my name is eboni, i was touched by what youre going through, and i do believe that if you have a supportive boyfriend of 5 YEARS, and your family is also very supportive then maybe you should go ahead and do it, bu tyou have to make sure that thats who you want to spend the rest of your life with,and if youre going to school youre going to need alot of help, but like you said, the longer you wait the more infertile you become, do it now while you have the chance, because if you wait and you really cant have kids then you’ll be stressed and hurt and all that , and "WISHING U COULD TURN BACK THE HANDS OF TIME"
I feel for you, I have not suffered from the condition myself but 2 of my friends have, and they were told by doctors they would never have children. They now both do. One has a girl and the other has 2 boys. God has big plans for your life, so I wouldn’t rush into having a baby. Live your life, now. You may be blessed in the future to be a parent to a child of your own, if not there is one waiting for you to care for. I will pray all is well for you.
Hi Chrissy
I was diagnosed with endometriosis when I was 26, by which time the doctor said I had probably had it for 10 years. He told me to "get on with having children sooner rather than later" because the delay in diagnosis had meant that the endo had had chance to rampage through my reproductive system, causing all sorts of damage.
I was devastated, but we started trying immediately. Nothing happened, and the doctor’s worst fears seemed to have been confirmed.
HOWEVER (and I am not implying that you should do this! :laugh: ) my relationship with my husband broke up, and I met my current husband. Within a month of moving in with him, I was pregnant.
That was in 1997, and over the years the endo, which is now dormant, carried on ravaging my body. I had several cysts removed from both of my ovaries, and had one ovary and tube remove. Despite this however, I have been pregnant, to my knowledge, 16 times since 1997. I don’t have 16 children! as I miscarry very early, but this is a totally seperate problem and nothing at all to do with the endometriosis.
I have a fantastic gynaecologist who monitored me very closely and treated any signs of the endo causing trouble with drugs as soon as it reared it’s ugly head.
This is just my experience. As you have probably read everything there is to read on endo, you will know that everybody has different experiences. But it doesn’t have to be the end. There is so much that can be done nowadays. Don’t lose hope, and don’t make any rash decisions before making sure that you have thoroughly discussed all of the options with your doctor.
Take care, and good luck, Chrissie
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