Shocked, Scared & Confused..

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      Hello everyone. My name is Ashely and I am 19 years of age. I currently am in my freshman year of college and I live with my grandmother. I just found out today that I am pregnant and I’m in total shock. I am so scared. I don’t know how I’m going to tell my parents, grandmother or aunt and uncle, not to mention my boyfriend’s parents. We both are scared and worried. This will be our first baby between my boyfriend and I. I’m afraid my grandmother will kick me out and then I’ll have no where else to go but back home to Atlanta, Georgia where I am originally from and where my mom and dad are, and I really don’t want to do that because I want to stay with my boyfriend. We plan to get a place together later on this year around the time the baby is born/due. Anyway, my whole point is that basically…I don’t know what to do. I mean, of course ‘m keeping my baby. I can’t even imagine me going through with an abortion. That’s out of the question. I have not my own place (yet) and I don’t even have my own car, but my boyfriend does. So it’s like I know EXACTLY how my grandmother and parents are going to react when they find out. I’m just SO SCARED!!! I don’t know when I’m going to tell them or even HOW I’m going to tell them. I was thinking that since my mother lives so far away (I’m in Michigan) I could just send her and my dad a letter telling them the news, because of how scared I am. And then I just don’t know how I’ll tell my granny because she’s very mean. I’m so scared of what she’ll say and do. But the thing is, my aunt had her baby when she was 18 and my granny got pregnant at 16 and had my uncle at 17. So why would they be so angry when they did it their selves?? Does anyone feel me on this?


        well what i could suggest would be to just sit your grandmother down and talk to her…she will most probably be angry at you even though she was in the same situation but she would be angry because she would hope to know better,and which you do which is why you are taking responsibilty for your actions and keeping this baby….that is the only way…some elders respect you even more for sitting them down and telling them the truth…but eventually she will warm up to the idea..and so will your parents…in from south africa so i dont know exactly how far you stay from your parents but if you not going to see them soon…then the best is to send a letter…
        i hope i helped a lil bit…and good luck


          Be happy … CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!! You have a beautiful little angel growing in you…i suggest you keep it, i personally got an abortion and i’m 19 going to be 20. it sucked sooo bad i went into a depression and i bled, i got a cut cervix and I thought i’d be forever infertile b/c of one stupid mistake! I never am the same because of the baby being ripped out of my uterus and everything . It’s so sad, because i was far almost 4 months along when i got it done, so the baby was very much a baby. But enough about me..i’m glad you’re so smart and keeping the cute little baby inside of you. i’m also 6 1/2 weeks preggo myself now and keeping it for sure. do yourself a favor, pretty please! Go call crisis pregnancy hotline (its on this website) i know it sounds corny but call them and tell them where you live. they’ll tell you where what’s called a ‘resource center’ is for pregnant girls. at this ‘resource center’ they will hook u up with free medical care for you and your baby and other stuff cuz i’m broke as hell likeu. And, also, at the resource center, they have ultrasound machines and if you’re atleast 6 weeks pregnant (have missed your period now for about 3 weeks ) then they will defintely give you an early fetal ultrasound. i did this for the first time the day before yesterday and omg!! i saw lil speck of a baby and the heart pulsating. i almost had a panic attack and cried at the same time. there is absolutely no way to describe the feeling. it’s an ‘i’m gonna be alright, everything’s gonna work out okay’ kinda feeling. seriously, go by my advice. as for your mean ol granny, ignore her, dont tell her until you feel its right…no rush to tell her, eventually she’ll find out. i think it’s better u tell ur parents first and then ask for their opinion before you tell ur grandma so you’ll know beforehand how to react. Good luck and write bak so i know u read this! <3 kieran


            I’m glad you have made the right choice in keeping the baby..
            If your aunt did get pregnant so young she should understand what u are going through and she should hopefully support you in this pregnancy.
            I hope all goes well for you.


              They’ll be upset for the very reason that they did do this also. They want better for you and they know how hard it is, how they wish they’d waited, etc. What’s done is done though, and I think you should "stand up" and tell them. I’ll be saying a little prayer for you here in Georgia that all goes well. 😉


                thanks so much kieran!!


                  i totally understand, my mom also freaked when i told her that im preg ( 6 weeks) and told me i have no choice BUT to have an abortion. i understand that she wants the best for me but its a decision we have to live with for the rest of our lives. well me and my BF decided to keep our baby and raise him/her with everything we have. my mom doesnt talk abiut it with me, but shell come around. its hard with no support, but everything will work out for the best =)


                    First… if you don’t start feeling happier, you’re going to become depressed, literally. Congrats! You have to tell someone… someone you trust, and get the right care at the doctors for yourself and the child….



                      hun you may think yo know how your family will react but actually they probably wont react the way you think….. i thought my mom was going to rip me apart and kick me out when i told her so i waited til i was 6 months before i told her… and you know what the only thing she was mad at me about was that i waited so long to tell her… she was calm she asked me what i had planned to do and everything but now she is trying so hard to make everything ok for me and for my coming baby… which i will be having in like 2 or so weeks!!!!!


                        It will be ok. "This too shall pass". Give your parents some credit. They might handle it better then you expected. If not, you’ll be ok and they will eventually come around. In the meantime, be proactive. Look for ways you can kelp yourself. There should be local programs that will help young parents in your area. Go on craigslist and make a post in the baby section explaining your situations and that you’d love any used baby items people can spare. Most of all, get excited and do your best to prepare yourself mentally for the arrival of a baby. Do you have a job? Many people out there will hire a pregnant nanny and even let her bring her child along after it’s born if your are the right candidate for the job.Hang in there girl!

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