Remembering

I remember my first post in this forum, how lost, confused, angry and depressed I was. I rememeber crying as I typed the message and how scared I was of being judged for the decision I had made. I received nothing but kind words and support from all the wonderful girls here and I want to thank you for it.

I still have my off days, where nothing seems to go right and where my only thoughts are those of being pregnant again. I’m aware that the clock cannot be turned back and things won’t be exactly the way they used to… But I’ve learned that I am not defined by that decision. I am not the abortion I chose to have that day, and I should not live my life in the shadow of that pain.

This forum is always so painful to read, because my heart bleeds for every mother who pours out her heart here. I know how hard it is to pick up the pieces and pretend that everything is alright… but what I’ve relised is that we don’t need to pretend, we are allowed to remember the child we gave up and we are allowed to mourn.

Here I remember my beautiful angels in heaven, my precious Nicole 05/02/07 and my darling Sophia 08/09/07. Always loved, always remembered, never forgotten.

Evangeline.