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Anonymous
Monday, August 1, 2005: Pregnant? Me? After being kinda premiscuous for the last year and a half, and only sometimes using protection, I guess it caught up with me. But Me and my boyfriend thought we were being careful….just didn’t start using condoms right away….STUPID US!! Well, last night in my parents’ bathroom I found out what strikes fear in my heart: its the little "plus" symbol on a pregnancy test that indicates a bun in the oven. So I went to the doctor today to find out for sure and, now I know for sure. I’ve been told that I have ten days to make my decision: stay pregnant or don’t. I have yet to talk to my boyfriend, who, by the way, already has three boys from a previous relationship. I can’t help but think, this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. I wanted to get marreid, enjoy marreid life for a bit, then start a family. What if we break up? Who would want me then? But at the same time, I don’t know if I could go through with an abortion.
Wednesday, August 3, 2005: Well, last night I finally got a hold of my boyfriend who has been away for the weekend camping…. I told him and he wa surrisingly calm about it. He didn’t come right out and say it, but I know he doesn’t want any more kids, at least not right now, and wants me to get an abortion. I haven’t told my parents, but before my mom had told me that if it ever were to happen (me get pregnant) she would help me any way she could. Part of me really wants this baby, and I hate that I’m scared to tell Rick that. But another part of me wants to just keep going as I have been; my job is taking off and I have a chance to move up soon. Also, I don’t feel like it would be responsible of me to keep a child, as although I do feel emotionally prepared for this, I know I’m not financially. So that’s where I’m at at this point… I’m still not 100% sure of what I’m going to do, but my time for options is quickly running out.
If you wanna keep this baby then do it. Your mother has already agreed to help in any way she can, ond you have your bf too. Even if he doesn’t want to have a baby right now, the choice is yours. And besides I’m sure you’re not the kind of person who would put a guy before her child, even if he is the father. If he doesn’t want to help then get a court order for child support. My mom had me in college and she graduated with honors and is really succesful now. You can do this, and if not, there’s always adoption. ~LoveYaLots~ Niquole
Hey, just read your story and its very scarily similar to the situation i see myself in at the moment. My job also started to take off – but ironically i quit to move over to Spain (where my parents live) for a few months to chill out before i went back into the working world etc.
I also just found out i am pregnant. Went to the docs today who confirmed that i am 7 weeks. My bf and i have been going through a serious rough period atm, but discussing this with him has him saying that he’d be totally supportive of any decision that i make about it. WE are both 18 years old – he works full time, we both dont drive as yet. We also dont have a house to live in as yet atm. But those aside he advises that he doesnt want to have a child as yet – but as i said is going to be totally supportive.
My mum has said that she would move back over here – but she is giving a really pressured hard time as we are popping over there for a month on the 16th of this month, and i want to have decided by then what I am going to do. Have an abortion or not. We both weren’t using contraception – so we both had the idea in our heads that this could happen… I just dont want to feel like terminating this baby because of our relationship which is in a rut atm. But i also do no want to fel regretful or guilty for any decision ! i need help !!! :ermm: 🙁 :blush:Hey! this is my first time on this website and i wanted to say it’s great!!
Okay, i’m not pregnant, well, at least i hope i’m not! Anyway, i was reading the comments and i started to think….My boyfriend and i have mucho mucho un protective sex, and like most we’re trying our hardest to not get pregnant. My boyfriend and i have already discussed what he thinks would be the correct thing to do if i were to get pregnant. Unfortunatly, he does not want nor need a child right now and neither do i. He very bluntly stated that he and his friends would raise money for me to get an abortion. At first, i took that very lightly, but now the chances that i could be pregnant are higher and i do not want to abort a child! i just can’t do it! Not only would that be putting my body in danger of never being able to concieve again, but it can do alot of emotional damage as well. I am inlove with my boyfriend so a part of me if not all of me wants to honor his wishes and desires. I’m so confused of what i should do. :unsure:
My mom had two abortions and two miscarriages before she got pregnant with me. I am 25, and her abortions have negatively affected our relationship my whole life. She will never be completely emotionally whole. I also have a friend who had an abortion two years ago and has been torn apart ever since. A child is a precious gift, and while an unexpected pregnancy leaves a lot to deal with, I would encourage you to have your child or at least consider adoption. There are so many people out there who want to adopt and can’t have children. While you want to honor your boyfriend’s wishes, he is not the one that will have to deal with the consequences, both emotional and physical, of having an abortion. And he knows as well as you do that when you have sex, pregnancy often happens! He made a choice to take that risk when he had sex with you. I’m in the midst of a pregnancy scare myself, and I know that if I’m pregnant, having a child right now will be really hard. Life deals some crazy cards sometimes, but the hand we’re dealt is all we’ve got!
I will pray for you in whatever decision you should make, but know this: God does NOT make mistakes. Everything happens for a reason, and trust me, He’s watching. Do not be scared, be overjoyed. I had my first child at 15, the second at 18, and here comes the third at 22!!! Looking into their faces every day, I know they were sent here to save me. Your Angel is growing inside you as I type this response to you. I wish you luck in your life, and will continue to pray for you, and all the other single-teenage-mothers who need some uplifting.
hun dont decide what to do based on what if your bf leaves you. i wondered who would want me to (im 33 weeks) my boyfriend is still with me and wonderfully supportive. and at the same time theres a guy i work with who wants to be with me and care for my baby as his own. i realize thats not the most common situation but all im saying is dont base your decision on what if’s and uncertianties regarding boys.
Hi!
I ‘ve been there. On 10th August 2001 (I just realised it was exactly 4 years ago-perhaps, subconsciously, that’s the reason why I visited the site), I made the greatest mistake in my life.
I had an abortion that still haunts me night and day. My boyfriend -now my husband- was telling me he would stand by me, but in fact he let me have it. I did it because we had no money, I was still at university and I was afraid of my parents.
Thinking back, the only reason was the fear of my parents. I will never forgive myself. A child should never be a reason to be sad, or afraid. Children can only be synonymous to kindness and happiness. And I am sure that If I had decided to keep my baby, I would have found the strength, money and support I needed. And now I would hold my baby in my arms and have a smile on my face instead of a wound in my heart 🙁
So, be calm and strong, and try to think how your life will be after your baby is born- it can’t be that bad! Besides, you have your mum. And if the baby’s father really loves you, you will have him too.
I wish you find the way to your happiness 🙂Love,
VickyHi! I understand your situation because my boyfriend is 18 giong on 19 and has an one year old daughter and just recently had twins from the relationship before me. Now that I think I’m pregnant, and this is not the first time, but I’m really scared. With my first pregnancy I went into pre-term labor at 18 weeks and had my daughter Shania, but she only lived for 26 hours. My family was really disappointed in me for getting pregnant in the first place, so now that I think I’m pregnant again I can almost hear what they are going to say, and that is the part that really makes me a nervous reck because I haven’t told them yet. But I know that everybody will stereotype me for being only 16 and this being my second pregnancy, even though no one, but people close to me knew that I was pregnant the first time around. Do you want to know the worst part, I’m on birth control. SUCKS. I’ll learn to deal with it though. As for you don’t let your boyfriend make you give up something that you may regret in the future. I’ll be praying for you and please pray for me. 🙂
Love,
JamesciaKit
Annette,
It is good that you were able to discuss with your boyfriend risks and consequences of sex. I won’t tell you what to do. When I was 19 I had a pregnancy scare. It turns out that I wasn’t pregnant but my b/f at the time said he didn’t think that he could be there for the pregnancy. I didn’t want to be in a sexual relationship with a partner that would not be willing to face the possibility of pregnancy and be willing to support me and his child. I thought that I was in love with him and he would always be there for me but after thr experience I knew I couldn’t cound on him and I wished I had not lost my virginity until I was in a more stable and comitted relationship. It wasn’t long before I broke up with him.
If you know already that he would not be supportive and responsible for a child if you became pregnant I would reconsider having sex with him – at least unprotected sex. If you do continue to be sexually active together I would reccommend that you use birth control and/or protection to reduce the chances of pregnancy at this point in your lives.
Kate
You know…I have a lot of friends who are in stable, wonderful, happy marriages, but can’t get pregnant. They are heartbroken. They want so BADLY to have a child to love and raise as their own, but they haven’t been blessed with one. They have money, love, time to spare, but no child. Adoption is the gift they pray for and dream of. Giving a child up for adoption is the greatest gift of love. Just a thought. 🙂
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