Pregnant at 15

I am soon to be 18 and I have been up all night tossin and turning. I have been thinking about something that happened over 2 and a half years ago. Too this day I still wish I had done things different. I thought sharing my story would give me some peace tonight, or unleast until my next break down.

>I wrote the follow 2 years ago….

My name is Brittany, and I am 15 years old….10 months ago I got pregnant with my boyfriend of 6 months (offically but we were really together for about 2 1/2 years). I had recently given him my virginity and It was our 3rd time.However, during intercourse the condom broke. Well The first thing I did was calmed my boyfriend down because he was getting all nervous and I knew that if he was all nervous it would make me nervous. So I took out my calendar with my period schedeule in it and looked it over. I convinced him that it was alright, even tho I myself knew it was cutting it close. Well he told his mom (she’s a nurse) and talk to her about it and she believe I wasn’t pregnant. She was the only person who knew other than my bestfriend and my boyfriend! So we watrched for my period….and It didn’t come on time…a week and a half later it still wasn’t there. So one day before Tennis practice i had my bus drop me off across the street from the center of town and i went into CVS. All I knew was that I have to know….I couldn’t keep wondering! So I look around and found the pregnancy test…I look threw them and then I finally picked out one that u pee on. I also picked up a notebook to disguse what I had in my hand and headed to the register, well on the way to the register I ran into someone I knew! It was one of my friends boyfriends who worked there.I hid what was in my hand and kept the conversation quick. I went up to the regiseter, put down the pregnacy test and notebook and waited for my total, like it was no big deal! I paid and then I was off to practice. I hid it in my duffel bag and when I got home frome practice I avoided it for as long as possible! Well it came down to about 7:30 and i knew I had to do it so I went into the bathroom, locked the door, and I read the directions. I took the test and It said you had to wait 5 minutes to see if there was 1 line = not pregnant and 2 lines = pregnant. Well I look at it about 3 minutes in and there are 2 distinktive purple lines…and right in that moment I knew nothing would be the same! Well the first thing I did was hid the test in my room and called my boyfriend. He didn’t want to believe it. He said I probably took the test wrong, so he made plans for me to come over that weekend and for me him and his sister to go to Brookes and buy another pregnacy test so I could take it with him there! Well this time we got one of those digital readouts and we bought the 2 pack. well we went back to his house, went up to his room, and I went in the bathroom and took the test! i brought it out to him and we waited for the results and then we looked at it together and…. It too said I was pregnant. All he could do was hold me and thats what he did. He didn’t say anything to me for about an hour, we just held each other. But then he look me straight in the eye and asked me what I was going to do..I don’t remember what I said but I knew I loved him. I wanted to keep it and I knew he wasn’t ready. He told me how he felt, how it wouldn’t be fair. It wouldn’t just effect us but it would effect our families and our friends and our child too. I lisened to him and thought about it and then i agreed to an abortion. We told his mother and she was gonna have his sister take me during school one day! My Dad wasn’t to know, and to this day he still doesn’t but we were gonna drive to connecticut because it isn’t leagal in massachusetts without parental consent. We decided it was best because it was still early, i was only a month along, we would do it soon. Well the day before my boyfriends 16th Birthday I had a miscarrage. It was probably from all the stress and from all the physical activities I was doing. Well I told my boyfriend and I don’t remember how he reacted, all I remember was wanting my baby back. Well at that point I was scared at how his family would look at me, knowing that i had gotten into that mess with thier son, and i was scared to see how the relationship would be! So I broke up with my boyfriend and i hurt him real bad, I got a new boyfriend a week later because I need someone, and so to get back at me my ex got a girlfriend himself. My relationship only lasted 2 weeks then i decided i want my boyfriend back but he was still with his girl cause he is not a jerk like that. He couldn’t dump her, he couldn’t be that mean, plus he was having as much sex as he wanted. Well they are still together to this very day! She wont let me talk to him! We haven’t spoken in awhile. Well my due date was a couple weeks ago and It was a real hard day. I tired calling him but thier was no answer. So a couple days later he call and ask me why i called and i told him just to talk. Well i told him what the day was and he didn’t kno what to say so we got off the phone. Me getting pregnant ruined the best thing in my life! I lost the love of my life and thier isn’t a day that goes by that i don’t regret getting pregnant and breaking up with him! I would do anything to have him back! I miss him alot and it would be sooo much easier to handle the fact i was pregnant if he was with me but i know he’s not and it really hurts but i hope he is happy and that he never forgets that we almost had a child together!!

> Well an update on my ex…he broke up with that girl after a year and a half of going out for another girl. Him and his new girl were together for only a few months before yes she too got pregnant. they now have a 3 month old little boy. He is adorable and I am happy for him…we still talk on and off, but nothing will ever be like it was. I still miss him, he was my first love and I will always remember him. I love him now and forever.

>Here is also a Poem that I wrote about my experience. Hope you learn from it.

"Pregnant At 15"

By Brittany

I look back and remember

that day the condom broke.

My stomach gets all uneasy

it was like some sick joke.

I pulled out my calendar,

just to check and see.

I had to calm him down,

before I could focus on me.

i counted over and over again

but all i could do was pray.

but deep down inside i knew

a little one was on its way

a month came and went by

And surly enough I was late

I was off to CVS

I can’t foget that day

I remember getting home

and holding that EPT

One line was not pregnant

and two equaled me.

The very next thing i did

was called him up to say

he was gonna be a dad

a little one was on its way

He didn’t want to believe it was true

so i took another test

i held it up to him

and you would’ve never guessed

It said i was pregnant

Pregnant at 15

It was only our 3 time tho

How could this happen to me

It was 17 days after my birthday

On March, Friday the 13th, 2004

thats the day the condom broke

thats the day that changed my world!

After that, we sat down talked

And i have never felt more loved

but then the conversation went sour

and push came to shove

We started talking about what to do

and who we were going to tell

he asked for an abortion

and thats when my world just fell

I knew i could keep it

he wasn’t gonna force anything on me

but i also knew he wanted a future

not a baby at 16

so i agreed to an abortion

knowing it was best for us

He’s sister was going to take me

i needed someone i could trust

Well it never came down to that day

It never went past 6 weeks

I lost my baby on the 10th

and i gave up my boyfriend on the 15th

The miscarriage did a toll on me

and i made a few mistakes

but i hope he understands how i felt

and why i took that break

I couldn’t believe i was pregnant

and i was embarassed at what they’d think

our relationship came to an end

sex complicated things

i often think about him

and i wonder why i left

i ask myself if he still love me

but this is probably best

Cause he seems quite happy now

with his girlfriend of 6 months

i wish them all the best

but please don’t forget what we had once

We were each others first

and i really did love him

we almost had a baby together

and "I Do" could have been

if i could wish for anything

it be to kiss him once more

and for him not to forget our baby

that was due December 6th 2004