Praying I made the right choice

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      Well, first off I want to state I am new to the site. I am a mama to 5 children. They are ages 18(twins) 13,10 and 7. I am divorced and have been for almost 3 years. I have been dating my present bf for 9 months. We are expecting a baby in June. I knew I was pregnant at 2 weeks along. I tred to ignore the symptoms and just prayed it was AF coming. Well, I told my BF I was pregnant and he said to wait till my period is late and we will test. Well to make a long story short, we tested before I was late and it was positive. He is very happy and loves me and wants us to have this baby. Now, thats all fine and dandy, but we are not married, nor living together, and I have 5 other children. He isnt very close to my children like he should be and Im hoping he works on that asap. We have talked about it. SO I was scared to have this baby and considered abortion. I dont believe in it but I had to think what if we break up? I will be single with 6 kids on once income. I cant afford that. I barely can afford the 5 I have now. But we are going to keep this lil bean. I am still scared and he keeps reasuring me things will work out. Maybe its the hormones but every time we are not together(well when I am at work) I start thinking about if he really will be there when our baby is born? Is he going to financialy support it? I really need someone to talk to. My friends are all happy for us but something like this I dont think they would understand. I beat myself up for being a grown women and doing something very irresponsible. What kind of example am I to my older girls?


        Well it’s water under the bridge now. I think your kids know that you are not an irresponsible mother, you know what it takes to raise a kid and have done it with 5 already. If nothing else it will probably discourage them from having babies young. They will and maybe already do have a clear understanding that being a mom is not all fun and games. I am a firm believer that you have to do what your heart tells you to do. I am not for or against abortion you just need to be honest with yourself and think it over. You know what being a mom is all about so your not going into this blind. I am here anytime to chat. Best of luck. Jessica


          You have definitely made the right choice to keep your baby.
          If you are worried about the example you are to your older girls, the truth is that you are showing them that you are strong enough to face the consequences of a mistake instead of just killing someone that was totally innocent so that the mistake wouldn’t be found out.
          Can you and your BF get married? If you didn’t wait you can at least get married now, right?
          Other than being scared about this pregnancy, are you doing ok? Keep us updated on how you are doing, ok?


            Thanks:) I am doing pretty good. Im still feeling guilty because I am not very excited about this pregnany like I was with my other children. Physically I am great.I have talked to my BF about getting married and he isnt ready for that yet. That has frustrated me alot and we have been talking about it the last few days. I would rather wait to get married after the baby is born. He wants a big wedding and I would rather not be pregnant when getting married.

            So we will continue to discuss it. I am not feeling like a bad mother anymore and my children are very excited. My family is also. But they keep asking me if we have plans of getting married. His family is also excited. We are with each other day and night besides when I work 3 nights a week so I dont see why we cant live together now and plan to get married sometime next year. Im a bit frustrated. I will keep ya updated. I go to my first Drs. appt. on 12/4 I am sorta excited and also want to talk to the Dr. about my feelings. Maybe its depression?

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