Post Abortion- I’m Lost

I had an abortion in April and it was most traumatic thing I’ve ever been through, mentally and physically. My boyfriend of almost two years, happened to be living with his dad in California temporarily when I found out we were pregnant. His family was very accept and supportive. However, my family (mainly my father) wasn’t. I was told that I needed to get out of his (my father’s) house if I planned to keep my baby. So I started to pack my things not really sure what would happen seeing as I was months shy of my high school graduation. My mom came into my mom and tried to stop me, telling me that she loved me and that everything would be okay. I called my boyfriend to pick me up. I guess father thought that I wouldn’t actually leave and seeing my boyfriend pissed him off. He ended up shoving my boyfriend down the stairs and beating him up. I wasn’t allowed to talk to my boyfriend until I left for college. And even now, it’s very secretive. The next morning my mom drove me a clinic where my 7 week 3 day old child’s life was terminated. I have never been able to talk to my parents about it. This whole ordeal has torn my boyfriend and me apart mentally. I can’t talk to him because we both just cry and I can’t talk to my friends because they don’t know. I’m just so lost. I don’t know if I can ever get over the guilt and forgive myself and my parents. Please help