Hi.
Right now, I guess you should ask yourself what you’re worth. You say he raped you? Can that trauma be healed by money? I think you may just be underselling yourself for $20,000. You’re worth much more than that.
Far be it for me to judge you, but do you really need the money? What happens if you accept the money? If he gets out on the streets again, he can do to other girls what he did to you. Old habits die hard and you were just one of the girls he had fun with. There’s nothing to stop him from doing it again.
If you accept the money, do you really think you can hang on to it and live with what it buys knowing that it came from him? It’s like the 30 pieces of silver Judas got for betraying Jesus. He eventually couldn’t even stand holding it knowing how he got it.
Honey, what ever it is that you went through was painful to you. I really think that if you accept the money, you may end up feeling more used and abused and his. well you know the word. People like him pay people no matter what age, to have sex with him. Though you had a relationship with him, you may eventually feel less of a person if it eventually feels like you had money in exchange for what he alowed himself to do to you.
There are many good things you can do with that money not only for you but also for others if you donate it to some charity.
Pray hard and see what God whispers in your ear. Stay safe and be at peace.
Erick