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Anonymous
I have just turned 18 and I am pregnant…..again.
Please no one judge me but last time I had an abortion which I knew was for the best but ever since then and especially now I would give anything to have this baby. I feel angry and jealous any time I hear of someone falling pregnant and just can’t bear to talk about them or be around them. I know having a baby would be impossible I have just started a law degree my fiance and I are planning to move in together after christmas and we are by no means ready financially. We both want to wait till we are married and have a family together then but a big part of me can’t wait that long. My family would not be supportive at all. How can I get rid of these baby cravings? Please help without judgement I would love to hear from people who have gone through this.Kit
JJ,
I promise not to judge you for your past choices and actions. I have never had an abortion, but I have had a couple of pregnancy scares when I was younger and I remember how terrified I felt at the prospect that I might be pregnant (luckily I was not pregnant). It doesn’t seem uncommon for girls who have had abortions to feel lonely and empty and feel jealous of women with babies and a desire to be pregnant again.
While I won’t judge you for the past I would encourage you to choose to have THIS baby. I can relate to fears about balancing grad school and pregnancy. I just started by grad program when I found out that I was pregnant (my husband is in grad school too!) It hasn’t been too bad being pregnant and in grad school….we’ll see how next semester goes when the baby is here! I do not currently and I doubt that I ever will regret having this little boy.
At least you have a loving fiance who will be a supportive husband and father. Perhaps your family would be upset about an unplanned pregnancy before you are married, but if you are moving in together before you are married they have probably figured out that you two would be sleeping together. They might be upset at first but they could surprise you and turn out to be more supportive than you might have anticipated. If finances are an issue there are resources out there to help. Also adoption could be a potential good choice. This way your child would be given a chance at life and you could focus on your degree and relationship and wait until you and your fiance are more ready to raise children yourselves. You could choose open adoption or closed adoption.
I understand the dillema your facing and that this is not an easy choice, but I do hope that you do not choose to have another abortion. I hope that you do decide to have this baby – whether you raise the baby yourself ar give it up for adoption. Best wishes.
Kate
I know exactly how you feel and what you are going through. I had an abortion in April and it was the worst mistake I ever made. I’m 19 and just started nursing school this fall and I really want to have a baby now. I wish I could just erase the desire to want to be pregnant again. I guess it’s just because I’m still so hurt from the abortion I had. I feel like getting pregnant would just erase all the anger and pain I have. I know no one could understand what we are going through until they have been in our situation. I would really like to talk to you more cuz I feel like maybe we can help each other w/ this. My email address is Jen5186_2000@Yahoo.com if u want to write me.
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