oh please i need someones advice please

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      hello everyone.
      my lifes taken a rather bad turn lately and i need some help.
      for a starters i have a long term relationship with my boyfriend, weve been going out for a year.
      i went up to see him 2 weeks ago for 3 weeks and was on the pill the whole time, i went on them a week before going up there because i new i was going to have a period in the middle of staying there and i didnt want that so i missed the sugar pills. i ended up missing a few pills but nothing crossed my mind. then i realised i started to eat, heaps!. and my boobs, they were so sore!. so i decided to stop taking the pill and see what happened. that was last monday (the 19nth of october 2009) and on saturday, is when it all started, i woke up with minor cramps which progressed then light bleeding started, and it got sorrer and sorrer and closer and closer till i passed out, and woke up to the cramps which still hadnt gone away (i took codilgan before this) the pills had no effect. then all of a sudden the pain stopped. i thought it was the pills but it was 3 hours after i had taken them so it couldnt have been that. then my mum told me how she had this in her younger days, she thought it was just a bad period but it turned out it was a miscarriage.
      then at that moment it clicked in my head. so i went to the toilet and i found this thing in my pad, hard to explain, sorta like a normal period clot, but with white in it, and it was quite big, probly 2 inches by 2 inches. and all the pain had gone after i had passed that.
      i looked on the web and had it in my head i had just lost my baby. something i have been wanting so bad. i cryed for days, even organised a tattoo i was going to get in memory, and so was my boyfriend, untill i went to the doctor on tuesday the 27th of october and they took a pregnancy test and it came out negative, but the doctor seemed to think i had a urinary tract infection. my heart felt like it broke. they also did a blood test and that came out all clear to. i told the nurse today (wednesday the 28th) about my clot and shes got me booked in for a swab next monday.
      i was happy that maybe i had the privledge of having my own baby made by me and the one i love inside of me for 2 or 3 weeks without me knowing. something even told me it was a girl.
      but now in so confused.
      i dont know what to believe.
      am i dilusional?
      are the doctors trying to bend the truth?
      my heart hurts :(.
      any advice or experiences would be appreciated.

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