news

well i have some news..wasnt online for like a week…and many things happened in this week.

to the beginnin,since my abortion i really wanted a baby, but then i broke up with my(now ex-boyfriend) and had noone since now.. for like the past month,two i have kindo of been seing that guy,and i really thought that this could be something (he was acting like he wanted something serious,like his in love too)..
but then all of sudden he ignored me totally, last friday we had a great time 2gether, heard from us during the weekend, and then nothink, like i don’t exist, like he doesnt exists…
well before i contindue with what happened next, is right that i say, i wanted the baby soo much, but then after the post that one lady gave me, i thought bout it, and said to myself, maby its better i wait until i have everything i can have to give to the baby…
but… in all that mood that i was in, i was all desperate,sad,angry,just cant explain what all i felt…,
i had sex.
with a friend (a really good one).
unprotected.
on my ovulation days.

duno how that could happen,im moste of the time responsable but..i dunno, all i know is we cant change what happened.

well..i feel excitement..i kind of really wanna be pregnant, i really wanna have a baby..
i told the guy i had sex with what is happening, and hes totally on my side,he said hell be there for me and the baby..

well… i actually am feeling weird, i had some weird cramping in my low tummy, i have some huge carvings on some food,and speciall sweets,my breast are kind of sore,and im most of the time sick & tired..

my period should be on on the 8th,and cause shes very regular…means that ill know what and how in about a week..

i know, it was not a responable thing to do to have unprotected sex…to have sex with someone who am not in a relationschip (well its not that good atleast for my view on the world) but i did it. and i am,and will take the full responsibility for that..

but..when i don’t think about me being unresponsable..im excited, i really am..i would LOVE to be pregnant, i would be te heppiest person to have a baby… it would mean that God gave me another chance..that He did forgave me..

i will keep you girls posted,
love***