New Chapter

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      Okay… so I haven’t been on here in a really long time (or it seems really long to me). I’ve been giving all the effort I have into school and taking care of my son, Caden, for those of you who don’t know me. I’m now graduating a year early and am in my senior year of high school trying to choose what I’m going to do for the next few years of my life for me and my son. Several issues have come up within my life now that I’m getting ready to leave high school and REALLY grow up.

      First, I feel like I’m not as good a mom living at home with my parents. I don’t know why. I guess having them there if I want to go out makes me feel like I can go out more. But I don’t want that. I’m not as comfortable punishing him around them or playing with him or reading to him… I don’t really know why, but I know it’s bothering me since he’s almost two years old now. He’s my son and I want to be his mother. I need to learn how to do that on my own. But how am I supposed to go out on my own? I turn eighteen in a little less than a year and want to figure that out. (His father isn’t involved and lives 800 miles away, by the way.) There also comes the issue that I want my parents to focus on my younger brother who is an addict and needs their attention. But they always assure me Caden is never around him when he’s like that and things like that… but I still worry. A lot.

      Next comes college. I got into some pretty big schools… The University of Alabama, Belmont University, Lipscomb University… but does that mean I should go? For as long as I can remember I wanted to go to some big school and get over this stereotype that teenage mothers can’t do it. But that isn’t what I want anymore. I know that I want to go into nursing and I want my RN license, but I’m now considering going to a community college for two years and transferring, which could hurt me from getting into the actual nursing school. I just don’t see how I can go to a big, expensive school and move out with my son and pay for daycare and college, even on some scholarship, and get work done and everything else… but at the same time I don’t want him to live at home. My parents want me to leave him with them.

      I guess I just feel like I need to live up to these standards that my parents have set for me and go to Vanderbilt University and become some rich nurse practitioner who marries a doctor, which isn’t what I want. I want to live out in the country. But at the same time, I dont wanna ever worry about money. I’m at a crossroads. HELP!


        having to decide to what college you will go is allways hard, no matter if your a mom or not.

        well..being a mom makes it a lil bit harder cause there will be a bit more planing and organisation needed.

        like i see it…you got into some good colleges, i would catch that opportunity cause if there will be a job opening and they will get 100 people applying for it…having a degree out of a well known college will be a big plus by getting the job.

        it sucks but thats the way the economy works, sad but true, and cause of that id do it. find a party time job so youll have the money for daycare, and look around, cause some colleges have day care for their students children on campus and its a bit cheaper than normal daycare.

        good luck!

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