need advice

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      I’m 16 and pregnant, never thought I’d be one of those girls that said that, just like all pregnant teens I supose. I have no one to help me out so I can still go to school, I have no one in my life to tallk to, my mom has seriously lost it and is trying to make me get an abortion, she got pregnant with me when she was 14, and she says that she just got to a point in her life where she felt like a strong accomplished woman and where she can do things like go back to school and do the things she didnt have a chance, she says I’m being selfish and if i decide to have this baby that it will be the most selfish thing ive done im my entire life, i cant live with her if i have this baby, the father, my boyfriend wants that baby but he says he wants to be able to give the baby whatever he needs and wants with out a struggling everyday just to do that. he does not want an abortion at all though, however he hasnt really told me how hes really felt, other than when he first found out he was extremely happy, however thankfull a liitle bit of the reality of the situation sunk in.i have to go live with my aunt but i cant stay there forever, the father is 20, he lives with his parents and has no job, im not nieve i know i love him more than and he thinks the world of me and he has all these good intentions and plans but the reality is that he isnt going to be any financial help, i know that the best thing would be for everyone else involved would be to terminate this pregnancy, but i can’t make that choice i think that its wrong and i feel like im giving up before ive even tried. right now i just want some one to talk to, to tell me that my choice to keep this baby isnt impossible, just extremely difficult i want to be able to see the reality and help plan and prepare myself as much as i can i work something out, is that possible? I cant get any medical help because of my parents incomes, my dad is moving to west virginia and my mom is telling me that its not fair to force this baby on her and i want to go live with my aunt but she lives 45 min. out the way and i want to go back to school for a while i dont get my license until september and even then i dont know how im going to get tags or insurance for my car. what im most concerned about is that i dont have any medical help and dont know how to get any.


        Hiiiiiii – I’m Lisa and I am from the Stand Up Girl website.

        When I read your e-mail my heart went out to you so strongly. I wanted to just wrap my arms around you and tell you "It’s OK – you CAN be a Stand Up Girl"! You CAN choose to let your baby live. Yesss you can. And can I say … your mom … she will be so overjoyed that you are choosing life too.

        Please understand that your mom is ‘reacting’ right now. She loves you more than anything in this world. But she also gave you life. Imagine … what if she didn’t? You wouldn’t be here right now. And I have to say that I’m SO SO GLAD YOU ARE HERE RIGHT NOW. Aren’t you?

        No – keeping your baby is NOT a selfish choice. If anything … it is COMPLETELY selfless. This child inside of you is alive and breathing and this is your baby. It truly is OK to give life to your baby. Please just give your mom time to be angry, to get upset, to maybe even cry. Then … guess what … she will most definitely be the first one standing in line to hold that little powdery bundle of joy. I see it time and time again.

        Please – come here and share with us at the Stand Up Girl. You are NOT alone. We all join together and will surround you with encouragement and love. And on top of that I’d like to give you some information that will help direct you to get some help and maybe even some medical attention.

        Let’s try this link and input your zip code. A list of free and confidential centers that are in your area will come up on your screen. Call them and tell them your situation and they will very gladly help you. I will be right here for you. OK? You can e-mail me at the Stand Up GIrl website too under the Dear Becky column. OK?

        Here is a website and a toll free 800#. Remember – you are NOT alone!

        800-395-HELP (4357)

        Also – let me share an awesome photo. This will help you to see why those beautiful motherly heartfelt emotions are so alive in you. This is one of my favorite photos:

        Please let me know how you are. OK?

        Luv Lisa


          i agree with the moderater sweetie… you are on the stand up girl website so stand up for what you want. i fell pregnant 3 month before i turned 16. i knew how hard it was going to be for me to keep this baby but i could not kill it i couldnt do it. but its up to you.. i dont have a job and the father of my baby did not have a job my parents both dissagreed and concluded straight to an abortion saying i had the rest of my life, all i said was… this is my life, this baby is my life. unfortunatly i had a misscarriage but if i still had that baby now i would not have had an abortion…. you can do it !! it isnt impossible, nothing is impossible… think of it as each day comes.. youve got your aunt right?? im sure she will help you till the baby is a few month/years and you can get yourself a job money to support this baby. just follow your heart if you want this baby… your boyfriend or father of the baby is 20.. he can get a job .. ask him to get a job to support your baby.


            hey Mandy… i can really relate 2 ur sittuation… plz if u eva need 2 tawk im totally here 4u. u can talk 2 me here on stand up girl. you are not alone 🙂


              You really aren’t alone so many girls are going threw that same thing. I wish you the best of luck and I hope everything turns out well. You can do it just belive in yourself and keep your hopes high. Everything will be ok.

              gina lynn

                listen to me sweetheart. i am going to put this bluntly, your mother is wrong! it is not selfish for you to keep your baby, it is selfLESS. you would be putting your own life aside and putting the baby first. that is the opposite of selfish. just think, if your mother followed her own advice, you would be around today. so she is obviously wrong. you were worth keeping then, and your baby is worth keeping now. yes it will be very difficult, believe me, i know, i am a single mother. but it will be worth it, the first time you hold that baby in your arms, you will know. and even if there is just no way you can support a child, why not give it up for adoption and be a blessing to a family who cant have children. then you can continue with school, and all your own dreams with out killing a baby.

                anyway i just wanted to make sure you know you are not being selfish if you keep your baby, you are being selfLESS. raising a child is the most selfless think a person can do.


                  I think your mother is being extremely selfish..she is trying to make you feel guilty…now what would be selfish would be to terminate this pregnancy and not give this child a life. Lots of girls out there think its too hard to raise a child but there is so much help out just haven’t discovered it yet so thats somewhere to start for you.
                  Its what you want to do as its YOUR child, only you can make this decision. Its good that you do have ur aunts support and hopefully in the meantime your mother will calm down and realise that you really want this child.
                  Good Luck and keep us updated!


                    I have decided to keep my baby right now im staying with my dad at the end of august ill move in with a freind of mine for a couple weeks until i get my liscense, she closer to everything than my aunt is, but i start painting and getting furniture for my aunts this weekend. Im still not sure what to do about car unsurance, but if i move in with my aunt i should be able to get medicade, my mom hasnt dropped me from my insurance yet so im going to make an appointment to go to the doctor..hopefully sometime next week, as far as all the little details well im working them out as i go, not that im not at my mothers house i feel like theres more hope. reading all of these messages helped me out alot when i was there. i honestly dont kno what else wouldve helped me keep my sanisty. thank you so much for taking the tme and listening to me and for al the inputs, it help so much.

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