I just came across your post, and I want you to know that I’m praying for you and your boyfriend, as well as your parents. I’m so sorry for what you’ve went through. There is Someone who knows your pain, and He can ease the burden you bear. I’m sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine. There are places that could be helpful for you to deal with the emotions you’re experiencing. Unfortunately, this will never go away. It’s a part of your life now, and you need help in dealing with it. I will keep you in my prayers. May God Bless you.
Amy