HOME › Hot Topics › Girl Zone › Need Advice › My mom and abortion
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May 11, 2007 at 12:13 pm #17265Breezy1
I’m 14 years old and I’m pregnant. I want to keep the baby. I don’t believe in abortion and making my baby suffer because of me. I’m still with the father and his family is very supportive. My mom won’t listen to me at all. You would think she would calm down by now I found out like a few weeks ago. She’s set on me getting an abortion. I live in Ohio. Can she do this if I don’t want it? If she still makes the appointment will they force me to get it? Like hold me down or put me to sleep? I’m kinda scared my mom will hurt me if I refuse. I’m even scared to be alone with her. I not even allowed to see the father unless it’s in school or at one of my prenatal visits.
May 12, 2007 at 11:46 am #17278erickliriosHi.
It’s good that your dad is supportive and it’s a bit unusual that he’s the one who is rather than your mom. Honestly, I think your mom has her own personal issues about pregnancy and marriage that’s why she’s acting like this. Maybe you can try to understand her a bit more and see where that is coming from.
I’m not so familiar with the laws surrounding you but generally, they can’t really force you into anything. What I would suggest at this point is for you to tell your dad about your mother’s, err, actions, and try to get him to help you out. If it means keeping out of your mother’s way for now, maybe that’s good. She should also cool down a bit anyway,
Many of us here will be cheering you on especially that you’ve chosen against abortion. Keep the baby. I personally would not want a fourteen year-old to have a baby but now that you’re pregnant, it’s academic: you have to take care of the baby.
Sooner or later, your mom will cool down and hopefully will be supportive. What you can do now for her is to be as understanding but keep out of her way. Things you may say or do to each other may damage your relationship even irreparably.
Take care, honey. We’ll all be praying for you.
Erick
May 13, 2007 at 5:38 pm #17293pridelovestrength3i tried to do some research for you online but didn’t find anythin in specific wit ur state but in the majority of the states it is illegal for your mom to force you to have an abortion. don’t be scared. i first got pregnant when i was 15(i later had a miscarriage and then got pregnant again at 16 wit my oldest son) my family tried to make me have an abortion and i didn’t do it, i listened to my heart and kept my baby, today, my family absolutely loves my 2 year old. i’m now 19 with 2 kids and pregnant wit my third. and married. trust me they learn to accept it. and actually fall in love with the baby. only thing i am warning u, get ready because it doesn’t get easier, it’s hard having kids at a young age, but hey if i survived without anyones support, u can do it too with the support of your boyfriends family.
May 14, 2007 at 1:27 am #17297goodluckyallThe dilemma in your situation is this. To be treated like a child can mean the decision will be made for you. To be treated like an adult means if you want to make your own decision, you’ll have to therefore live with the consequences by taking care of your own baby, your own needs, bills, etc. In some cases (not all), you can’t have it both ways. If you’re old enough to have sex and get pregnant (and make the decision to keep the baby), you’re old enough, or should be, to take care of yourself. You’re stuck between two worlds of being a kid or a grownup.
You’re mom can’t technically kick you out at your age, but she can make your life hell if you decide to keep this baby. Other than that, you may just have to rely on the father’s family since they’re supportive. The only other option if you can’t live with either of those is to give birth and place the baby for adoption. You say you don’t want your baby to suffer an abortion because of your mistake. Adoption is the third option that may resolve your not wanting abortion versus your mom not wanting you to keep a child at your age. It’s a really tough situation you’ve got yourself in. I wish you the best and lots of support no matter your decision.
May 14, 2007 at 6:52 am #17304sandrahelen1980congtats, and why dont you try and sit down with ur dad and mom together and ask them both to listen to what u want and tell them that u want them both to help you and u want to carry on going to school and u want then to help you look ater the baby , surly they both wants what is best for you , and for ur baby , its ur body and is ur child , and u dont need the stress and agro, as it is not good for you or the baby.
May 15, 2007 at 6:14 am #17318Gabriella_89Hey there hunny!! I can so relate to you, i was 14 when i had my daughter, my family was not very supportive either and i honestly think that they didnt accept that i was having a baby until she was born, so it might take your family a long time, its hard for moms to get the idea around their 14 year old having a baby, to her your always going to be her baby (even if you dont think so) and you will understand that once you have a baby too, i know i would be so upset if my daughter got pregnant young, because i want so much more for her, even though i am so proud of myself and i love my life and you certainly can make something great of your life even if you have a child young (so i dont want you to take this a negative thing, you will make it and you will do great things and achieve everything you want to and never forget that)
anyways its so awesome that your bf;s family is supportive, my bf was also very supportive when i told him i was pregnant (both times actually but things changed – which a totally different novel) its really important that your surround yourself with people who love, care and support you, because your an amazing person and you dont deserve to have all the negative stress put on you, and people who are being negative dont deserve your time.
As for your mom wanting you to get an abortion, she can want it all she wants but in most states (and provinces) though im not familiar with the laws in your state, your mother cannot force you to have an abortion, though personally i am against abortion (for me) i firmly believe that its is YOUR body and YOUR choice and if you want to continue with this pregnancy then no one can tell you otherwise.
Good luck with your choice, its very difficult and i wish you the best of luck in what ever you end up deciding
– Gabriella
if you ever want to talk please feel free to email me
Much Love
May 16, 2007 at 4:46 am #17334navywifeim not sure about ths but i dont think they can legally force you to have an abortion no matter what state you are in. i hope everything works out for you.
May 18, 2007 at 3:21 am #17393ashamileeYou need to talk to a lawyer specializing in family law in Ohio.
Just from what I found googling Ohion state laws, the age of medical consent is 18. That means until you are 18 you do not have rights over your body, which means, yes, she can force you into an abortion. I could be wrong, but I found like five different websites stating that. If you do not have medical majority in your state, your mom can make you do anything and doctors and nurses cannot oppose her. They can refuse to do it, but that’s it.
June 7, 2007 at 12:01 pm #17666DevI’m 17 and i live in Ohio too. My mom wants me to have an abortion, and like you, i’m against it. the law in ohio is that NO ONE can force you to have an abortion…..the father, or your parents. If you need anyone to talk to then send me an email or anything.
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