me, myself and one small little miricle

Hey there! My name is Keshia. Breifly – I’ve just turned 21, I have a 9 month old (just about) little boy, Charlie and I come from Australia. This is my story.

I’d been on the contriception needle for well over 2 years, in that time I had broken up from a serious relationship and had just a few flings. I’d never fallen pregnant, and I never thought that I could fall pregnant. I put my trust in medical science, ‘contriception’.

Then all of a sudden, I was still in a small, very white hospital room when three doctors came in and surrounded me. They told me that my doctor had made a huge mistake a few months back when I had asked for a pregancy test as I wasn’t feeling right. He had told me the result was negative… it wasn’t at all. Back then I would have been 4 weeks max, I would of had a choice and I can honeslty say if I had had that choice I would have a different life today… But right there, right then, I was 7 1/2 months pregnant, in shock and numb to anything else. But I knew that my actions had got me to be pregnant, and I had to step up and deal with it, and I did.

My little man was born on Thursday, 29th June at 4.16am. I remember holding him in my arms, a new single, young mother. It was daunting, but then I thought, just because I am young, single or whatever, this would be daunting for anyone. When are you really ready to have a baby? 14, 19, 25, 30, 40?? The fact is, no one is ever trully ready to raise a child, there are no guides, no books to tell you EXACTLY how it is to be done. I can remember looking into those little eyes and thinking this is it, its all for you, I wanted to give him everything I could, I felt as if I didn’t have enough love to give him, because I wanted to give him so much more. It was scarry, those fews hours after birth when you are sooo tired, but you just can’t sleep becuase you have this new little being beside you. I remember willing him in my head, please don’t wake up, please don’t cry, please don’t mess your nappy. I didn’t know how to doing anything, hold him, feed him, anything… it was daunting.

Now, 9 months on, and I am sleep deprived. But apart from being an arwful sleeper, my little man is a wonderful baby, he is talking, walking a little and saying five words. I am so proud of this little thing that is so much a part of me.

Motherhood is a wonderful exprience… but it is very hard. Its hard because sometimes you can’t eat your tea because your baby won’t stop crying, its hard because when you walk down the street with your baby you get rude looks and nasty comments, it is hard because you don’t get a chance to hang with your childless friends… but it is all worth it.

When I found out I was pregnant I thought that my world ended. It hasn’t, I just took a different road. I am just about to graduate from University, a book I am writing is being published, I live in a really good area and have a two storey house, and I am a young and proud single mother.