lost :( abourtion pain i have had for over a year

A poem/song for sasha-lou nicole clarke in its a whole year and 1month today 9/10/09 i have now found out that im having a little girl and there is a part of me in my heart wich herts so badly i just want my little girl back.

Where’d you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it’s been forever,
That you’ve been gone.

She said “Some days I feel like ****,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,”
I don’t understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself trying to stay on the road,
But I feel like an idiot, workin’ my day around the call from you wich i know is never going to happen,
But when I pick up I don’t have much to say,
So, I want you to know it’s really painful dealing with the fact you have gone,
That I’m stuck here waitin’, at times debatin’,
Me and the rest of the family here singing “Where’d you go?”

I miss you so,
Seems like it’s been forever,
That you’ve been gone.
Where’d you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it’s been forever,
That you’ve been gone,
Please come back home…

i miss her so much even tho one day im fine and then the next its back i just feel so alone in this ollie is amazing but he never talks about it he just talks about our new unborn little girl of whom i love so much but the thought keeps coming back into my mind that this is sasha-lou’s younger sister and sasha will never get to be here to see her and to see her mummy and her mummy and daddy to hold her and look after her, i just dread going to sleep with the same dream that ive been having and it pains me so much i dont know what to do

im lost at the moment i try and keep strong for the baby and ollie’s sake just im heartbroken inside.

any advice on how to deal with the pain?

gabby x.