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Anonymous
Ok. I guess I need some kind of advice from somebody who has been in my shoes or close to anyway.
Last June after the first time my exboyfriend and I slept together, I told him I thought I was pregnant I mean 99.9% sure, the only thing that was stopping me from knowing exactly was a test. My mom was also sure of the fact herself being as she’s had two kids and one miscarrige of her own. the exact day I told him was July 1st. I had a doctors appointment at the end of the week and asked him to put off arguing with me until then pls. He left me the day I told him needless to say, saying he wasn’t ready to be anybodies father, and then told all of his friends I was lying and any child I was having wasn’t his. It put me under a lot of emotional stress, and the constant arguing with my father who tried to disown me and kick me out. I don’t exactly know why or what happened but I had what resembled a miscarrige right before I went to the doctor. Who told me I wasn’t pregnet but she wasn’t telling me that I hadn’t been either ( she’s usually not a whole lot of help).
On to my point. At the time I "was" pregnent, I wasn’t ready for a child, But later I was ( and still am) really upset and I kind of think I would go back and change anything so that I would have had that baby ( strange I know). My mom says that I seem fixated on what she calls " that whole baby thing". I know I’m not old enough to really take good care of anybody, I just wish I had had the chance I guess.
Can anybody give me any kind of advice? Is it normal to feel this way, or am I just crazy?
Thankx (sorry it’s so long)Kit
I don’t think it is abnormal to feel sad about not having had a baby and feeling like you wish you would have had the baby or would like to have a baby. I don’t know if you were pregnant and miscarried or were not pregnant. I can understand how you would have felt scared at being pregnant but became excited at the thought of the baby and felt empty about loss. (I’ve heard of women who think they might be pregnant and are scared about a positive result actually feeling a little sad and empty when the test turns out negative).
Although I understand how you feel I would wait until you are a little older and in a stable committed relationship before you try to get pregnant. Having a baby won’t take away the sadness and pain from your previous experience. Hang in there. Perhaps talking to a counselor might help you to come to terms with the past. Best wishes. KAte
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