Just want to give up…

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      I feel like I have been battling “prenatal depression”? Is there such a thing? It may just be the enviroment I live in. We live in such a nice home, in a really nice neighborhood, go to awesome schools… all that stuff. On the outside we look totally normal and happy. My brother, who’s a senior in high school, starting drinking, smoking, and doing drugs. I saw a text message from my younger brother asking for ‘bars’ which I know from a previous friend of mine that they are Xanax tablets, and also he was talking about smoking weed. I knew that my brother would have an affect on the little one. Now my brother who’s 28 is the one I want them to talk to… but he lives in Nebraska! He’s been there and knows what it’s like, so it’d be nice if they’d talk to him. I can’t tell my parents about my younger brother involved in that stuff, too, because it’d break their hearts and stress them out even more. All I hear about is money… the economy is bad. My brother broke a priceless piece of glass on our door which costs $500 to replace. My little brother is always asking for SOMETHING, even after getting a bunch of acne medications and stuff from the dermatologist. They are still throwing me a baby shower… which my mom is in charge of decorating for. My birthday is tommorow and my dad just yelled at me for my idiotic brother’s putting waaaay too much toilet paper in the toilet and it overflowed with like 6″ of water, so I called my mom and asked what to do and she told me and then after I did that I told my dad who started cursing and saying how he can’t do this anymore. It was like… what? I was just trying to help you out with what I could do. Everyone’s always yelling or stressed out, and I don’t want the baby to be in this enviroment. I swear… he won’t know anything of peace from my parent’s voices… all he’ll recognize is stress.

      I spent a week with my boyfriend when my parents went to Nashville, TN, and I was so much happier there. Even though we got into arguments that week, I was just content throughout the week. His mom started trusting us so much more. She left us alone for a few hours and then we just fell asleep together and when she came home she didn’t wake us up… she just let us sleep together. I don’t think that she has any idea what that meant to us. That was literally always our wish for the past two years. When I left and woke up the next morning in my bed, I was morbidly depressed.

      Any advice? Help?


        HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!
        I don’t know if there is such a thing as prenatal depression but it does sound like you are very stressed. This I can relate to BIG TIME when I was pregnant 6 years ago my story was EXACTLY the same as yours. My sister was into drugs but really really bad. She tried committing suicide and was in drug rehab finally after my daughter was born. This was soooo hard for me while I was pregnant and needless to say my parents were up to their max. My parents too are yellers and I felt I was not bringing my daughter into a calm environment. My family too looked normal from the outside, nice house, nice cars, good jobs, nice parents and three kids. My pregnancy was very stressful, I loved being pregnant but still to this day I look back and know how stressed I was. Well when I had my daughter I remember feeling bad in the hospital knowing I was not going to a safe, calm place. However when I had her things seemed to calm down and I did a lot with her. I played with her and held her and spent most of my time one on one with her in my room. I know that sounds really funny but it was great. It was like I had my own space but in my parents house. I did everything for her, woke up in the night, bought everything for her and this made me feel empowered. I was 18 when I had her and I know you are still in high school maybe if you get a part time job or do some babysitting. The key is to get into your own routine. I lived with my parents for two years and I did spend quite a bit of time at my bf’s house. Then I moved out and bought my own place and it was wonderful. I guess the point of me telling you my story is because when I read your blog I saw me and where I was when I was pregnant. It does work out, just because you live with your parents segregate yourself a little when your son is born. I did and my daughter was not at all introduced to stress. You are going to be a great mother just follow your instincts and enjoy your pregnancy. Understand there is nothing you can do to change what your brother is doing. And nothing is more important then the needs of your child. Your dad will get over it, this too shall pass. I am here anytime to chat. I do feel for you, just try not to let this stuff stress you out. Jessica


          your story made me realise that there are others
          out there who definately have it worse than i
          you see im one of four kids in my family.
          and its crazy- also money is a huge problem thats why im grateful
          to be working and i can pay my way through this pregnancy.
          why dont you try talking to your brother? if that dont work
          maybe try tell someone in your family that you trust.
          think if somethings happens to him. you going to feel even
          worse cos you knew what he was doing.
          one day he will thank you for “Ratting him out”.
          i think at the moment the whole world is in so much of
          a uproar, every family that is fairly big, has huge amounts
          of stress, coping with the prices of everything.
          maybe your dad has personal problems or emotions
          – and he deals with
          it by taking his anger out in other ways.
          if you feel you more relaxed at your boyfreind, tell your
          parents you would like to go there more often “to get away and unwind”
          try doing yoga or breathing that might help relax you.
          i hope everything gets better- you ant afford to stress your
          body like this now- you come a long way
          all the best- God bless


            i kno u dowanna get ur lil bro in trouble but by knowing n not tellin isnt goin to help bcoz hs addiction is jus gonna get worse n worse n wen the baby cums its not gonna be gud 4 him, so i think u shud get it out in the open n let all the bad things that will hapen wen the news is broken pass b4 ur baby arrives but for the moment u shud try n ‘escape’ 4m that typ of atmosphere as much as u can, thingswill get beta, they must…. but it wont happen overnyt n it wont happen if things stay this way… stay strong hun dont giv up

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