interracial relationship/racist family

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  • #11601
    Sarahbearah

      Well my boyfriend is black and im white, i have’nt even told my mom we’re together because she and her parents are pretty racist,not like white supremacist or anything just pretty damn redneck. but now im pretty sure im pregnant, i turned 18 in Feb. and am still on mom’s insurance so i told her to schedule and appointment for me with my gyno. i could tell she was suspicious but not in an upset kindof way,well ANYway has anyone ever had to deal with a situation similar to mine before? i have no idea how to go about telling her because it really shouldnt be an issue at all. a good man is a good man it has nothing to do with your race.
      thanks for your advice!
      xxoo

      #12900
      Anonymous

        i feel what you’re going thru; I am Asian and in my culture, it’s considered a disgrace to the family name if u marry someone other than an Asian dude. In my personal opinion, I believe that if you two truly love each other then everything should be okay.

        #12915
        Anonymous

          If your man is a good man, then what should be important at this point is what you and he are going to do for the baby. Your mom can’t be the focus of your attention right now. Do the right things for your baby and for yourself. If your guy is there with you and for you. If he is willing to be a father and husband to you, that should be most important. Your family will love you in spite of this or they will do whatever they will do. But, your main concern should be for YOUR family. Most importantly, your baby. That’s who needs you right now. I’ve been there and allowed my family far too much control. Trust me, you are old enough and you sound wise enough to make the right decisions for you and yours. Be the mother that God trusts you to be.

          #12929
          persianprincess

            Hey, I come from a very very ristrict family when it comes to culture. It would be ok to have a white bf/fiance/husband but not black(any race but black). They were always against my boyfriend, eventhough they love him as a person and respect him. They like him but not enough to let me be with him if that makes sense. I’m 19 and last year I was pregnant and had an abortion 3 days before my 18th birthday. I felt so guilty because I had told my mom, and teh first thing she said to me was "Are you honestly gonna have a black baby?? " She told me how they would leave me forever, and how it would be sooooo hard to take care of myself and made me feel insecure and guilty and then she took me to the abortion clinic. I guess you could say I chose my mom over my baby. This year I’m pregnant again and eventhough my bf was against my abortion he stuck with me and supported my decision. I’m 13 weeks and havent told my family, and his family is thrilled about a new grandbaby. I think I’m old enough to live my life the way I want, Live life a day at a time and try to make me happy rather my parents because no matter how hard you try they always think that you could try some more. You have to look within your situation and figure out how supportive your parents are going to be, and whether they’ll be there. If you have to move out, then do that. I personally think that if you can handle the load and you are sure, stand firm on your decision and don’t let your parents get in the way. I used to be so so so close to my mom and I cant look at her anymore, No relationship is I think better than a destroyed one. Good luck, trust me there is hope, just relax and take it a day at a time.

            #12943
            mommytoele

              Hi there! =) I think that your parent(s) should accpet the new person in the family NO matter what. Do you think you’re pregnant?

              #13274
              Anonymous

                i SAY YOU WRiTE YOUR MOM A LETTER . THEN iF SHE STARTS YELLiN THEN DONT PAY HER ANY MiND .

                iM ASiAN & MY BOYFRiEND iS BLK .. MY MOM GREW UP BELiEVEiNG THAT YOU MARRY YOUR OWN RACE BUT SHE’S REALiZED THAT YOU CANT STOP ME FROM LOViNG WHO i WANT .

                PROVE YOUR MOM WRONG ABOUT BLK’S [iN YOUR CASE, YOUR BLK MAN] LET HER KNO THAT U LOVE HIM AND HE LOVES U

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