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Kit
It has been a crazy week. Last Tuesday I had my prenatal appointment and the doctor did blood tests to check for defects. On Friday I received a call telling me that they didn’t think there were any birth defects but I might be further along or having twins and they wanted to do an ultrasound. On Monday afternoon I got to see my beautiful baby boy for the first time (just one) and he was the right size and I was still estimated for the same due date. I thought everything was okay. However yesterday morning my doctor called and the radiology report for the ultrasound indicated that my baby’s brain looks like it isn’t developing right. I am scheduled for an appointment and a 3D ultrasound with a high-risk ob/gyn tomorrow morning. I’m really scared! I don’t want to lose this baby. Even if there are problems I will continue to love my son, but I would give anything for him to be healthy! 🙁 I’m just really stressed out and feel like crying.
Anonymous
Good luck, I hope all goes well for you. I’m pleased to hear that you will love your child no matter what. That’s the best attitude to go into this with.
Kit,
I’m sorry to hear that there could be a complication. Just remember that God never gives you more than you can handle. I know it is not easy see that when you are under the stress you are under. I am glad to hear you will love your child no matter what. That say’s a lot for your character. Pray about it. You never know God my give you a special child because he know’s that child needs a Mommy as special as you are.
HGWell, I had my appointment with the high risk ob/gyn today for more ultrasounds. I thought they were going to do a 3d ultrasound but it was just a regular ultrasound. I was hoping that the first scan would be only a scare…unfortunately that is not the case. The doctor said that there is definite hydrocephalus (sp?), meaning that there is water building up on the baby’s brain due to a blockage preventing draining. Also measurement for the brain ventricles was 12 mm (8 is average, over 10 is considered problematic). The doctor said that the risks of miscarriage or premature delivery could be high. He said that if the fluid continues to build up that I would probably need to deliver by cesarean section at a hospital in Omaha where they could do emergency surgery shortly following birth to put in a drainage shunt into the baby’s skull to drain fluid. He said that the risks of infection and miscarriage from fetal surgery outweigh any prognosis for improvement and there is not much that can be done to correct the problem until the baby is born. It is too early to know the extent of damage we are looking at. If the problem corrects itself the damage already done could be minimal. If the fluid build up gets worse or if the brain doesn’t grow into the space there could be serious mental and physical defects and the child may not have a good prognosis on survival. When the doctor asked about what we wanted to do and asked if we were considering termination I just broke down sobbing. I said I don’t want to do that. He said he was glad to hear that, but he was legally required to mention it as an option. The doctor did an amniocentecis to test for genetic abnormalities, but we won’t know the results for another 7-10 days. (it wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be but having a big needle through your abdomen/uterus is not fun! Then I had to have a shot in the rear because I am Rh negative!) The doctor wants me to come in for ultrasounds every two weeks to monitor the pregnancy. I feel so helpless not able to do anything to help my son! It was one of the hardest phone calls I have ever had to make to call my parents and let them know that their little grandson is facing some pretty tough obstacles. I love my son and want everything to be OK. I’m pretty much a nervous wreckI don’t know how many of you out there believe in God, but I would appreciate all the prayers for my son as possible. Also if anyone has gone through a similar experience please let me know. Peace.
Kate
Kit,
Our family will pray for you and your family. Hang in there. I don’t know of anyone that has gone through this. I know this is making you a wreck. Eighteen years ago I gave birth to a little girl born two and half months early. She was in the hospital for two and half months and had a lot of problems. The doctors did not think that she would make it. She had heart problems and had to have surgery. She was placed on a tube to help her breathe. She lost weight down to 1 lb. 12 oz. It broke my heart everytime I went to the I.C.U. I prayed and prayed about it. I didn’t know what to do. One day the doctor came in and told me there has been a change in your daughter. I expected the worst. She told me that Ashley had pulled the breathing tube out. I was in a panic. She pulled the tube out and went to breathing on her own. The doctors told me she would be slow and behind the other kids. She’s not she just graduated third in her class and is now in her first year of college. She wants to be a doctor. She had a rough road starting out and her dad left when she was two months old. Just remember God will never give you more than you can handle. If God takes you to it. He will take you through it.
I know it is hard to beleive that when you are going through a hard time.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
HG/DeniseSweet heart- just remember, its not your fault- and God will never challange you with something you cant handle.
Denise,
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and prayers. That means a great deal to me! Is Ashley your daughter that is expecting? Have you figured out more about child support? I have also been praying for you and for your daughter. We’re waiting to find out more information. There isn’t much I can do at this point except for praying a whole lot. I’ve been trying to keep a positive outlook and not get too stressed and depressed (which isn’t easy) because that can’t be good for the baby or for me. I’ve been trying to focus on work and school and to seek out information on how to care for my son if he does have special needs. Thanks again for your support and prayers!
Kate
Kate,
I have two daughters Ashley which is 18 and Chelsie which is 26 and a son that is 23. Chelsie is the one that is expecting. Actually I have not had a lot of time to research the child support issue. I work a lot 🙁 From what I understand we can’t do a whole lot until the baby gets here.
We just found out Chelsie will be having a girl. The baby is not even here yet and she already has three pairs of shoes (Just like a woman). 🙂
Keep us posted.
Denisehi hun, i cant imagine what your going through but i know a girl whose mom had the same problem when she was pregnant with her. i work in a dog groomers and as most dogs get groomed every 6-8 wks we get to know the owners pretty well. this woman was told all sorts of horrible things about how her daughter would suffer-physically and mentally and she had her and kept her and wouldnt put her in an institution where they could "help her better". she started her daughter in physically therapy and mental stimulation therapy at 6 months and today her daughter is 14 and doing so good, her only problem is a slight limp and sometimes she needs to slow down cuz she thinks faster than she talks-but then so do a lot of people. just love him and itll all turn out ok. my bf said things are rough now but theyll get better and itll be well worth it.
Kit,
I hope the best. And I hope that everything turns out right. Please when you find out let me know the news.Try to think the postive. Not the negitive. Keep hoping and praying. It will find itself to the true path. I hope the best and will keep you in my hopes.
Love Always,
MeganLandynsAuntie
I’m really sorry to hear about the devastating news youve received…but, this might make you feel better. My mother had my older brother when she was 39 years old. The doctors tried over and over to convince her to abort him..they said he was going to be mentally retarded. she had six miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy before she finally had a successful pregnancy.she was soooo excited. then the doctors told her that. she was strong though and never gave in. she had been trying to have children for years. she was NOT going to abort her child no matter what. well, she had him and a few years when by..and she got pregnant with me at 41. they told her i also would be retarded. but once again she wouldnt let anything get her down at her time of happiness……turns out we were the opposite of what the drs predicted. we both we very smart and athletic..neither one of us in school ever had lower than a 4.0—needless to say, the doctors arent always right…sometimes what shouldve or couldve been wrong,isnt….My point is, dont give up hope..you never know.it could and i think, WILL turn out to be perfectly healthy…but you realllllly do need to try to stop smoking….you dont want to know you caused your baby to have weak lungs…..i hope all goes well and this makes you feel better..
Thank you for your encouraging story. When the doctor mentioned the possibility of aborting this baby it was really painful. We were scared, but we love out son no matter what. We’ve had lots of family and friends praying for this little guy and it seems that we’ve had a miracle. The last ultrasound the doctor said that it looks like the problem has corrected itself and that it does not look like there will be brain damage or need for shunt surgery after he is born. The doctor is expecting that all will be close to normal. We would not have chosen to abort even if the prognosis continued to be bad, but it concerns me that the doctor brought up the option and it looks like our child will be healthy. I wonder how many children who would have been healthy are aborted out of fear of suspected problems.
I don’t smoke. I smoked a little bit, never heavily (maybe a cigarette a day at my heaviest) over five years ago. I haven’t smoked since. My husband on the other hand still smokes. I have been encouraging him to quit. I think he was getting pretty close to kicking the habit until we had the problems with the pregnancy which didn’t help his attempt to quit. He doesn’t smoke in the house, and I try not to breathe the smoke if I am outside near him while he is smoking. Still I’d like for my husband to be around as a husband and father. I’d prefer for our children to have two non smoking parents for thier health and also as better role models. Hopefully he will be able to quit – but ultimately he has to do it I can’t break the havit for him. Best wishes.
Kate
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