HOME Hot Topics Girl Zone Personal Experiences – Just Let It Out! I’M ONLY 14…AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO!! HELP

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      Hi everyone, my name is Lauren. About a week ago i found out that i was pregnant, and i have no idea what so ever on what to do!! I mean i am totally against abortion but i do believe that there is a time and place for it! I mean i know it’s not the right thing to do but i’m afraid if i don’t have one my life will be ruined along with my babies. I mean i really want to keep it but then i’ll have no time what so ever to myself, and there’s no way me or my boi friend can aford to take care of a baby!! But everyday i become more and more attatched to it and i don’t know what to do!! I’m about 9 weeks pregnant and i already love it so i’m afraid if i have an abortion i will never be able to forgive myself but if i don’t have one i’ll be screwed for the rest of my life. But my boi friend said he’d support w/e i choose but it’s just so hard!!!! I know i’m not ready for a baby but i don’t think i’m ready to kill one either!! Well as you can tell i could really use some advice so plez help me!!

      yours truely,
      laruen :ermm:


        Abortion is not the only answer. Have you considered adoption? There are many couples out there who would love to adopt a child. If you feel a bond with your child, then I would encourage you to listen to your heart and give your baby the gift of life instead of choosing abortion. If you do not feel ready for parenthood yet there is no shame in giving a child up for adoption, that way you could still move on with your life. You might even be able to arrange an open adoption if you would like to still have contact with your child. I would follow the information on the option link or contact Birthright or your local crisis pregnancy center for information on adoption and for support for the pregnancy.


          Hi there

          This is a note to say that i have been where you are and have felt exactly the same way you are feeling: unsure, worried and upset.

          But as the days past by your love grows for this tiny thing inside you! You have a million thoughts running through your mind but at the same time, you’re never coming to a conclusion. There are times before when you have though or maybe even talked with friends about what you would do if you got into this situation. But none of that matter now. Your opinions on abortion and whether its right or wrong go out the window and you find it impossible to make a choice.

          Well in the end i did. I had an abortion. It was the hardest, most painful thing i have ever done or ever will do. I will tell you honestly, I regret it.

          However, that was almost three years ago. The pain is still there, although not as fresh.

          I would never tell you to do one thing or another. But you have the answer there, look deep down inside you. Take time out and think. Think long and hard, because whatever choice you make will affect you for the rest of your life.

          I will be thinking of you.

          God bless x


            Hello Lauren. My name is Sabrina. I am 17 and my son is 4 months old. I felt exactly like you did when I found out about Julian. I contemplated all the options. I just want to let you know that if you choose to have your child all your fears will change, you selfishness will be gone. I plan to go shopping for myself and I end up coming home with nothing but baby things. I get a little sad that I can’t go out anymore, like I used to, but then I look at my son it is all worth it. Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you but after you have a child…no matter how old you are…you become a stronger person. I hope all goes well!


              Dear Lauren’
              Hi. My name is Antonina "Tonya" and I am 20. I am not pregnat but i want you to know that abortion is wrong. Give your baby for adoption. I was adopted when I was 15, my mother was not able to support my siblings and me. Please keep in your mind that you are carring a baby. Just think that at the age of 20 days they have abrain and they can feel. The child will feel a lot of more pain than anybody in the world. I am praying for you.
              Your friend,
              Tonya 🙂

              Post edited by: Julie, at: 2006/06/21 12:19


                First of all I dont want to be preachy. I have gone through the emotions that you are going through but in a totally different situation. I cant have kids! For my entire life I have wanted to be a mom. I thought I did everyting right. I stayed away from boys until I gratuated from high school( in the phyiscal intimacy sense) I went to college, I got married, I waited a year, bought a house, then decided to try for a baby. What I expected turned out to be a rollercoaster of doctor visits. Feelings of inadequesy and feeling just plain broken. I mean what is the point of being a woman if you cant create life. My dreams of becoming a mom were shattered. Where was I to turn? After three grouling years of horrible pills and even more horrible tests, my husband and I decided to adopt.
                One day after having a great portion of our money and our hearts placed in an agency, we were informed that an incredibly courageous woman had chosen to give her child a better life than she could provide herself.
                After communicating and meeting this woman for four months she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl which she placed in our arms.
                My dreams came true. I now have a beautiful daughter who I love more than life itself. Yet she doesnt have just one mom she has two. one who gave her life and one who is teaching and nurturing her through life.
                We still communicate with her biological mom and send pictures and videos ans letters as often as we can.
                Adoption is an option. Not only are you giving an enormous gift to someone but your also giving it to yourself and the child at hand. consider the life you will lead knowing your child is being well taken care of and loved by not only one mom but two.
                love isnt just being there it is showing it by the actions you take to make life better for those around you.
                my love is with you -Elisha




                    Hi Lauren,
                    I got pregnant when I was 16 and abortion never came in to my mind but I know because of the lifestyle I was leading it was good fotr me to have her alot changed and the responsibility and mindset I should have had as a 16 year old I got once I had her.

                    I think your very young and have a lot of time to have a baby, I think you should explore the reasons why you would want a baby and if you could mentally cope with all the changes having a baby brings, not just the responsibility of caring for a baby but personally for you, what about your education and future?, how are you going to cope financially? your 14 years old there are no garuntees that your boyfriend will hang around or be able to cope with a baby.

                    I am now 27 years old and my daughter is 10 in Sept it has been hard work raising her as a single parent and being able to offer her the best and teach her good values and morals and set a good example to her (children learn from their parents) I’ve gone back to school to study (which is very difficult, beacuse I have to study but I also have to give my daughter quality time, also it’s no fun studying at my age,I wish I’d done it when I was your age) and have big plans for our future (it’s extra hard work with a child), I constantly have to think about what I do and how it will affect her me and my daughters dad are not together and it’s only now I’m starting to discover who I am and what I like and am able to do, and understand my emotions and be honest with myself.

                    I wish you all the best what ever decision you make. Lots of love Chiola


                      🙂 The only thing i can tell you is that i personally went through the same thing. I got pregnant when i was 14 and I decided to have my baby. He was born on february 25,2005. trust me babies bring pure joy to your life. Don’t do an abortion it will haunt you for the rest of your life!!!

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