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Anonymous
I’m 17 and pregnant, I have left school so I am working. I am so against abortion that I don’t even want to consider it, but thats what the babys father wants me to do. He has told me that if I keep it he doesn’t want anything to do with it. I had never imagined that I would be in this suituation. I really want to keep it but my family think I just cant do it. I would like them to have faith in me and my decision.
I know that it will be so hard but I am willing to give it everything I’ve got. I just can’t imagine giving up my baby tp somepne else. I have been told that whatever decision I make I have to have no regrets, and I know I would regret abortion and possibly adoption as well.
The outcome of this baby depends on me, it is a huge life-changing decision!
If anyone has any advice for me that would be great.
Hey Sara,
Your message caught my eye. I went through the exact same thing at the same age as you. I also didn’t know what to do, and the pressure from everyone around me was hard to take. It sounds like you are a very brave and responsible person. If you are willing to do whatever it takes, you can make it. Do what your heart says to do – not what other people are saying to do. After a very long struggle, I made the choice that was right for me. I decided to keep my child, because I knew that he was a gift. It wouldn’t have happened if there wasn’t a plan somewhere out there for it to happen. I personally struggled with how to get through the last year of HS and everything that went along with it though, and I remember not having anyone to talk to. If that’s the case with you, you’re already on the right track. I just want to tell you that you can make it. I did things that people said I could never do with a child. I graduated from HS and went on to be a nurse. You can do whatever you set your mind to. You are stronger than you think. Good luck sweetie.Post edited by: SweetTea, at: 2005/12/18 03:12
well, I’m not as old as you, but i am kind of going through the same thing! I’m 15 and I just found out that i am almost 2 months pregnant! The first person i told was my 19 year old boyfriend! He was so happy!!! Then we told his parent’s and that is as far as it goes as I can’t go and tell my parents!
Even though they are all against you I think that you should do what you think is right and follow your heart, that’s the biggest thing! I really hope that things go good for you!Kit
Sarah,
Don’t let anyone pressure or force you into having an abortion if it is not what you want to do. Pregnancy is difficult, particularly when you don’t have support from your boyfriend and your family. Know that there are others out there who have gone through the same situation and others out there who care. My advice would be to talk to your local Birthright or crisis pregnancy center. They may be able to provide emotional and financial support for the pregnancy and help you with options.
I hope that you do not choose abortion. There are plusses and minuses for both adoption and raising the child yourself. It is a choice that you will have to make, but either way your child will have a chance at life. Best wishes.
Kate
Hi there!! I don’t know what your exact situation is, but it sounds like you’ve already made your choice. There are so many programs out there to help you raise this baby. Your boyfriend is not worth a single minute of your time anymore, you’ve got too much to think about now. I was seventeen when I was pregnant also. How crazy is it telling your parents? My dad didn’t talk to me for three days! I made it clear to everyone that there wasn’t any other option than to keep it, I never even thought of abortion. I do have to say that my boyfriend at the time was completely supportive, though. Any man who wants nothing to do with his own child…..I can’t even think of the right words to say what a scumbag he is. I wouldn’t have done it any different, I really feel like I’m blessed to be a young mom, now twenty-four with two boys and trying for a third! Please don’t let anyone make your decision for you, you’ll only have yourself to answer to. If you need to chat, drop me a line!
lele
I can tell you this. When I was 12 I got pregnant, at the same time my older sister was pregnant. You think it was easy, their was a lot of drama. But my family supported me and they always stood by my side. Now I’m pregnant again and I’m 15 years old. I went through it, you can go through it.
Hey! This really is a decision you have to make for yourself. I’m 41 weeks pregnant right now (lol, she’s a little late), and was 19 when I found out. While my mom was accepting, she kept making negative comments like "food costs a lot, how do you plan on buying it"? Just things that made me worry I couldn’t do it.
There’s always help though. If you really don’t think adoption is right for you, you can find a way to raise your baby. Take action and show your responsiblity the best you can, saving your money, going to your doctor’s appointments, etc. In time everyone will have faith in you, and, chances are, be happy with your decision. Good luck!
I Say If You Wont To Keep It Do So, Your Family Will Soon Come Around. When I Frist Told My Mom I Was Pregnant She Fliped Out And Told Me I Wasn’t Keeping It, She Told Me My Family Will Hate Me. Well I Am Now Almost 5 Months And Mom Has Come Around. I Found Out Later All The Things She Said Were Not True And That She Was Just Shocked And A Little Upset. As For My Family Their Fine With It And Don’t Say Much.
I Just Hope The Fater Comes Around And Exseptes His Child. As For The Father Of My Baby He Is Happy, But Nearly Pasted Out When I Told Him.
Just To Let You Know I Too Am 17 Years Old
If the father of my kids told me it was them or him. I would have told him good bye.
you poor poor girl.. not for being pregnant, but for not having a supportive family!!! this is going to be the most frightening experience of your life.. and yet it will also be the most exciting!!! don’t let anyone spoil it for you
My sister had her first child at 16.. my sister is now 29 and her daughter has just graduated yr 7 and is starting highschool next year..
and as for you boyfriend saying that to you.. well it could just be shock and fear.. let’s hope so.. otherwise he doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life!
i was 19 when i fell pregnant with my first child.. I am now 27 and have 3 gorgeous kids.. wouldn’t change that first huge surprise for the WORLD!
mexicanlover123
What you have been told is so true! What ever decision you make you have to have NO regrets about it. I truely believe that anyone can do it alone, it may take all you have, but you can do it. I’m 16 and I am 7 months pregnant. I’m not with my baby’s father anymore, but I’m not alone I chose to move on and not stay with him because of his attitude towards me and the way I was treated was not the way I wanted to be treated. I thought that if I stayed with him that things would get better but they only got worse. It’s ok now because no matter how many people tell you that no man will want a woman with kids is wrong because I told my boyfriend that I was pregnant and he said that is ok because he has a child of his own. He also calls my baby his because her father doesn’t want her. The only thing he said to me was "I can make another one." It hurts to know that your baby’s father doesn’t want his own, but knowing that people believe in you makes the pain go away. I have alot of people that believe in me and that what keeps me going. Anyway, what ever you decide to do, just remember you can’t have any regrets.
Love always,
~*Lydia’s Mom*~I had barely turned 16 when I found out I was pregnant. I was so scared of what my parents were going to say. But when I told them, of course, they were a little mad but afterwards were very supportive…people always have negative comments no matter what…..my mom always used to say how are you going to pay for diapers,formula,clothes, etc? But of course abortion was the farthest from my mind because I didn’t think it was right to kill an innocent little being over my mistakes. So I kept my son and of course my boyfriend was really excited to know he was going to have his first son…we got married, my son is already 4 months and beautiful. I’m 17 now, my son is 4 months old and despite of having gotten pregnant so young I have absolutely no regrets about having kept my baby.
hi. i am just 13 last month and i had sex just before that. my boyfriend is the same age as me and dumped me after it happened. i havnt told anyone but im defiently pregnant i have done 5 tests all positive. help me please. love nicole
Hello!!! Having a baby is the most wounderful exprince in life. I had my baby when i was 21 and i still thought i wasn’t ready, what i mean by that is that no matter what your age is you still gonna get fear and will think that you’re not ready, but when that baby is comming out of you, that’s the most precious time of you’re life. and you forget about every fear you had got. and you start thinking of how much you’re gonna love that tinny person on your arms. Believe me its worth it. specially when you see those tiny hands, and when they start smiling at you, holding your finger, their first words. you can’t change that for the world.
Love
Casey
Julie
Nicole, I’m sure you must be scared, but you can do this. There are a lot of resources out there to help you. I’d suggest contacting your local Pregnancy Resource Center by going to http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp or calling 1-800-395-HELP. They’ll be able to put you in touch with resources in your area, and might help you tell your parents. Your parents may even be more supportive than you expect.
With help and support, you can do this. But, 13 or 14 is very young to take on the responsibilities of parenthood! If you aren’t ready for the job, please consider adoption. You can give your baby life, and then give her a family who is prepared to raise her. You can choose the family – maybe even one you already know and trust. Adoption certainly isn’t easy, but it gives life, and is full of hope.
So, try to stay strong and take things one day at a time. You’ll get through it!
It may sound hard but sit with your mother and explain. Yes she is going to be mad but then she will see that at least you came to her with your situation. My daughter is 12 and if she was to get preg. i would be upset but i also would be there for her. At a time like this you need to open up to your mom. Good luck sweeetie. I was 16 when i got preg. with my son and he is now 15.
MelissaNicole- I was thirteen too when i found out i was pregnant. My boyfriend at the time was 19 and he wasnt ready to have a child. Him and his family pushed my to have an abortion. My mom on the other hand told me that it is my decision and mine alone. i am now 18 years old and I am just now finishing high school, I kept my child, he is now five years old and is in school. My sister helps me while I have to work and my boyfriend now treats my son as his own, my boyfriend now has a daughter that is 6 months old. It is hard caring for both of the chidren but me and him dont regret having kids we just regret having them at such young ages. I love my son and I love my boyfriends daughter. Jusst do wha tis right for you. And you’ll make it through.
I THINK THA YOU SHOULD HAVE THE BABY. YOU HAVE SOMETHING INSIDE OF YOU THAT IS YOURS AND NOBODY ELSES. DON’T EVER THINK ABOUT HOW DIFFICULT YOUR SITUATION IS IJF YOU NEED ANY HELP PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME BY MY EMAIL. I WILL TRY TO HELP YOU OUT WITH ANYTHING THAT I POSSIBLY CAN. DON’T BE SCARE AND DON’T FORGET THAT IF YOU DO SOMETHING THAT YOU MIGHT REGRET ITS FOR LIFE. I HAD AN ABORTION AND I REGRET IT BECAUSE I THINK ABOUT HOW MY BABY WOULD LOOK, AND HOW MY DAYS WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF I WERE TO COME HOME TO SOMETHING JOYFUL. TO SOMETHING THAT I WOULD LOOK FOWARD TO. SO PLEASE THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO OK.
:cheer: hi, nicole! I’m writing to tell u to keep ur head up, and no matter what God will always love u, and so will ur family. U know, I know it’s going be hard getting over that stupid boyfriend of yours, but, baby girl take it from me move on. Don’t ever be stupid for anyone, never give up on ur education, u can make it. Just have confidence, faith, and belief in God whatever u do please don’t have an abortion.
Love always,
DanayaPost edited by: Julie, at: 2005/12/24 01:06
Hey,
You’re so right about what you said. I kno wat you are talking about. I got pregnant when I was 16 and had my daughter 15 days after my 17th birthday. I was so scared the whole time, not including the fact that I stayed sick the whole time with severe hyperemisis. But in the end it was all worth it. Now my daughter is 4 months old and will be five months on the 29th and she is the most important thing in my life.shanita 🙂
Nicole, I’m sure you must be scared,but the first thing you must do is tell your parents. I’m guessing it’ll always be good to know that you have them on your side. I f not then you’ll know you can’t go on in life wondering if they would have been there for you or not. Second you should let your ex-boyfriend’s parents know it’s just as much a responsibility to him as it is yours to let him pass this up would be unfair to you and your family; also if you have had any sexual partners even remotely close to the time you concieved let them know it’s a chance the baby could be theirs to.
Mommy2Hailey
I too, was 17 and pregnant. My boyfriend wanted me to get an abortion, and I even had friends trying to convince me not to have my baby. I didn’t listen. I loved my baby and I would not give in to the pressure to abort. My boyfriend stood by me the whole time along with both of our families. I had my baby. I now have a beautiful 13 month old daughter named Hailey that has changed so many lives for the better including mine and my boyfriend’s. I can’t imagine my life without her. I knew I made the right dicision. So my advice to you is to follow your heart. If you want that baby, keep it. If you abort, you will regret killing your child for the rest of your life, wondering what you could have had. No matter who is pressuring you to do what, it is ultimately your decision.
Danielle
Hailey Jade 11/23/04
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