putting all that mess you wrote together i assume you are talking about abortion?
thats how it ends up usually..thats how it was for me too, i felt ugly, dirty, ashamed, guilty, a bad person, and
my BF moved on and was acting like we didnt kill a part of him too, like the baby we aborted was just mine.
talk to him, tell him whats going on with you, cause i didnt, i had the feeling that he just didnt or didnt want to understand (and who kno’ws, maybe i was right) and we ended our relationship after 3 years.
if you ever need…maybe just a person who will listen to you, you can PM me whenever you want!+