I need help

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      I am 20 years old. I just found out that I am about 3 weeks pregnant. I have been friends with this boy for about 4 years. Recently we became intimate. We weren’t dating, but good enough friends. I was hoping he would step up and say something like "I know this is a shock, but we’ll make it work." Instead- his first response was abortion. For him there is no other way. I have been reading more and more about abortion and personally, would much rather have the baby and deal with it, for me, I know I could do it and things would be ok. I just feel like bringing a baby into this world that the father wants nothing to do with, is not fair to the father. It’s like saying " I am going to have your kid whether you like it or not." I don’t know right now. I have an appointment to get an abortion Thursday. I do have some pretty serious mental health issues I have already been dealing with for 6 years. I can justify havin the baby, but at the same time I can justify just as much why not to. In my heart I want to have my baby, even though I have next to nothing as far as support. Please help me before it’s too late.


        Please Please PLEASE don’t do it. On feb. 25th I had an abortion. I think about it every day and regret it with every fiber in my body. I can’t explain to you what it will do to you if you go through with it. If you think you have mental health issues now they will be nothing compared to what you will have to deal with if you do it. You will not only physically be in pain but you will have emotional pain like you have never known before. You will not want to be happy and if you are, by some slim chance, you will feel guilty about it. I was always a happy person, no depression or any other mental or emotional issues, now I am depressed and have even contemplated suicide, something I never would have expected myself capable of even entertaining. This will ruin your life. I beg you not to do it. I know you feel that you are being unfair to the father for bringing a child into the world that he doesn’t want, the disservice is actually being done to you. He has no right to make you feel like you can’t have this baby because of him. You might be surprised, he may come around. Even if he doesn’t, that is not on you, it is on him. You will be happier in the long run. It will be hard, there is no denying it, but you owe it to yourself and your baby to bring them into this world. If you have an abortion you will not understand what I am saying until it is too late, trust me when I say it is not something I would wish on any one. And no amount of "I’m sorry, please give me another chance, make it so that it never happpened, I swear I would do it differently if I had another chance" will make any of it come true. You will have to live with your descision and believe me when I say it is not one you will want when you have done it. You have to believe me. Please.


          Hey There
          Please don’t get an abortion. There is plenty of support groups out there for you. There are a bunch of people here that really care about you and don’t want you to kill the perfect little life you are growing. Your baby can’t tell you how much it wants to be born and meet you and how much he or she loves you right now, but I guarantee that your baby wants to be born. I am 16 and I am due in April, and my mom is due in Feb. There is a lot of options for you, and if the daddy of your baby doesn’t come around once you start showing, and you find out if its a girl or a boy, or when you can feel the baby kick from inside of you, or when you finally meet it and the baby has his eyes and your hair, and you see this perfect little human that will love you and think you are the greatest person on earth, then who needs him? If you don’t want to raise the baby by yourself, at least give it up for adoption. Please keep your wonderful baby. Good luck.



            Don’t let anyone else force you into chosing an abortion! It is true that your friend is the child’s father and deserves some input about the pregnancy – but you are the child’s mother and you deserve as much or more of a say in this matter as he does! It sounds like you want to take responsibility and provide a loving choice for this child. It is easy to jump to the thought of abortion when facing an unexpected pregnancy. I know the thoughts crossed my mind when I faced a couple of pregnancy scares but luckily never had to face that choice.

            I can relate to depression – I’ve been there and I still struggle with issues. I am currently about 13 and a half weeks pregnant and I won’t lie to you – I have had depression and mood swings with this pregnancy. Changes in hormones will do that – or so I’m told. However I would not choose to abort this child.

            Before you go through with an abortion please read the stories and letters from girls on this site. I haven’t been through the experience of an abortion personally but it seems that if you already have depression that an abortion will only make it worse. You might see if you could get support from your family or Birthright or a crisis pregnancy center. They should be able to support you even if your boyfriend wont. Even if your boyfriend will not be supportive for this child you can – please listen to you heart – not your boyfriend.


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