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LottieBabesX
Hi Im Lottie and im 18 years old, me and my ex split up around 5months ago, and ever since then, I just don’t know what to do with myself. I could be myself round him, and he got on with my family, and I got on with his.. We didn’t work out because his parents were too controlling, he was an only child, so its understandable.. but I just feel like if we moved in together, things would be so much better.. Because even though I try to deny it, I do love him, I know some of you may read this and think I’m stupid, but its how I feel. I would love to move in with him, and have a family of our own, I work part time, and I wish I could afford a flat, but I couldn’t afford it :/ The past few nights, Ive been aching for a child :/ I really don’t know why. I know my ex and I would make great parents, and he says it all the time, but I could never see us being happy unless we were living together.. When we were together, I used to miss him every second we were away from eachother, and he said he felt the same, but I don’t know, his actions didn’t match his words.. I’m so sad about us breaking up, and ive been in and out of relationships since we split up, but they never work because me and my ex always seem to run into eachothers paths, in a way it seems like its meant to be, but I dont know what to do. Last year was such a horrible year, and its really starting to affect me.. My mom and dad split up last January, In July we lost our dog, then me and marc split up, then I lost my Grandad, I lost my bestfriend, just before Christmas my brother beat me up..Its starting to affect me really bad,I just sit up all night thinking and I often cry myself to sleep… Im hurt… confused and in need of help.
Anonymous
hey Lottie,
i know a little of what you are going through. my bf and i at the time when i was 17 he was 16. we broke up. i got into some other relationships and him as well. but we always felt we needed to be with each other. we thought living together would make things better and easier and having a baby.although we ended up getting back together one night at a party. i got pregnant. it was the summer before my senior year and he still had 2 years left. we thought it was perfect and now all our trouble and sadness and pain would go away… although in the beginning we were super excited and everything felt right. we soon started having the same problems we were before, and things just didnt seem to work again.i had our daughter april 2008. she was the most beautiful thing i had ever seen! yes she was a huge blessing and i thank God for her! but having her didnt fix my bf and i … i would recommend not moving in together. try and work things out before “settling down.” You are still 18 and have a whole life ahead of you! you can go to college you can go travel if you want. dont make the decision to have a baby just to try and see if it will help your guys relationship. if fact, after my bf and i had her. we vowed not to have sex until we got married. (if thats the decision we made)he finished out his senior year and joined the United States Marine Corps. when he returned we had worked everything out in that year in a half and were actually more in love than ever. we got married, and i can say im sooo glad we chose abstinance. it was something special. so yes, i do believe you when you say you love him after 5 months, cause i did as well. but i do recommend you fix your relationship get couples counselling if you need too. but take things slow and do it right 🙂 you will be so much happier rather than rushing into something and then falling apart!
God had given you a talent, wheather you have found it yet or not.you are a special gal, and going through what you have been through this past year is tough! i emplore you for standing up and asking and sharing with us! seriously i didnt share my story or feelings with anyone till way later! i wish i would have! youre amazing and off to a great start!Just trust that God has a plan for you. take a deep breath look at your future and ask, what do you want me to do?! 🙂 im here if you wanna talk more about anything, or have questions about my experience, as well as if you just need someone to talk too.. 🙂 i know what youre going through 🙂
teka@standupgirl.comElbie
Hey sweetheart,
wow, your story sounds so familiar.. I have been through alot of the same things and I’m so sorry you’re having to go through all of that. I completely understand about still loving your boyfriend, and you’re not stupid. My ex and I broke up over eight months ago and I am just now starting a new relationship. He was my everything. But I eventually decided to let him go. I just came to terms with the fact that we aren’t going to be together right now… and if we are meant to be together in the future, then it’ll happen. But it will get better hun. It’ll work out one way or the other. If you two aren’t meant to be together, just remember that God has the perfect person in mind for you if you’ll be patient. And if you are meant to be together, God will make it happen at just the right moment.
As for having a bad year, i can totally relate to that too. Last year was a crummy year for me too. The only guy i had ever loved and trusted broke up with me, My parents got divorced, I went through a pretty rough spot where I was very depressed and stopped eating and wanted to cut.. My grandparents were judging me constantly and talking about me behind my back, I had a creep who was sexually harassing me and stalking me to the point that i was having nightmares. I felt like life really couldn’t get much worse.
And it’s hard. I know the feeling of just laying awake at night and crying because you feel so numb to everything except pain. You can always feel that pain that’s still there from the past. But girl, I promise you, it gets better. Don’t give up now. Keep your chin up and look for the blessings in life… God’s got everything under control. And idk what your beliefs about God are, but I encourage you to pray.. He listens, and He’ll give you strength when you feel like giving up on life. He’s the only reason I made it out of all that mess. I encourage you to listen to a song that really helped me out “You’re Not Shaken” by Phil Stacey..
I’ll be praying for you hun… Things do get better. Trust me. And God is always there. And I’m here anytime you want to talk.. I’ll even give you my email if you want.Best of luck sweetie! Love you 🙂
-Lindsey
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