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Cassie5492
I’m pregnant..and I think babies are absolute miracles so of course I’m excited but I can’t deny that I’m pretty scared as well. I’ve been with my boyfriend 5 months but we’ve known each other for a few years. He said I’m welcome to move in with him..but it’s just telling my mom…I’m 19 going on 20 studying Nursing in college..and it’s going to be really tough, but I definitely want my baby…it’s just telling my mom…she already said she’d kill me..and she keeps questioning me about my period since I skipped twice already. I plan on telling her and my grandma on Easter since we’ll all be together..but I’m SO scared. I don’t want to let my mom down…my grandma is very, very supportive, so I know she’ll be there for me..but I don’t want to hurt my mom..she’s been through a lot :/ Any advice on what to say/how to say it???
Anonymous
Hey Cassie5492,
When i was in high school and had to tell my mom, i was scared out of my mind. I thought for sure she would ‘kill me’ as well! I never wanted to disrespect or disappoint my mom. But, when it was time to tell her, I just sat down with her, started crying and said ya so.. im pregnant… she didnt ‘kill me’ or say hurtful things. all she did was have a shocked look and started crying… We sat there in silence for a little while. Once things settled in though, she came and hugged me and said she would be there for me through it all and help me get through it. I pray your mom is the same! I feel they might just say that to scare us into not having sex! Which of course i wish i would have listened! LOL . Anyway, just be honestly , and humble. She might need some time to digest things, but im sure she will come around! If she doesnt, you did mention your grandma is supportive and thats a great start to a support system! 🙂 please let us know how it goes!
<3 Teka
renee
Yes I agree with Teka, be honest and humble and go from there. Of course you’ll never feel ready, but once you let it out I think you’ll feel better. You have my prayers. You can do it mama!
Well that’s what I’d expect as well. But then again..she acted like I betrayed her by dating my now bf in the first place simply because she didn’t like him..there was war about that for days..but now that she’s starting to like him…you know, this happens..so, I really hope she’s like your mom, you’re very fortunate for that..and yeah true, but then you wouldn’t have received your blessing! But thank you! And I will definitely let everyone know! 🙂
🙂 Thank you! I’ll keep you updated..
Yeah my parents didnt like my bf AT ALL back then! So they werent too happy. But like my mom said it wasnt about him at the time, it was about me and our baby. If he chose to stay that was on him, and if he chose to leave. I just focused on me and my baby and my mom was focused on that too. I can now say though, he fully changed after he saw our daughter be born and we are now happily married and have another baby boy!
YES, it takes work and yes there were fights back then. but, we both learned and changed in the process of becoming teen parents!
I have faith youll do great and youll have an awesome support system!
Much loveTeka
Yeah my bf already is starting to change..he doesn’t fight with me because he doesn’t want me to stress out and lose the baby and he gets me whatever I’m craving whenever I’m craving it..so I hope things do work out..I’m really glad they worked out for you, it sounds like you have a pretty good life which is great 🙂
As for my update..we broke the news to my mom and grandma yesterday..I included a copy of the ultrasound with their cards and as they were opening them I started crying..my grandma just looked at me and whispered ‘you’re pregnant?’ and I nodded my head. And she said, ‘please don’t cry..’ My mom was dead silent at this point..and then she went off..she screamed for at least an hour about how she felt betrayed and how could I do this to her and so forth..so I just went upstairs to pack my things because I didn’t want to lose the baby from stress..but then she came and hugged me and started crying..she just wanted a better life for me than she had is what she told me..so I ended up leaving for a few hours with my bf to calm down and I talked to my mom when I went back home. My bf and his family want me to move into their house asap since my mom smokes and my house therefore isn’t that safe..but I feel bad because first my dad left, and then my cousin, and now me..and my mom is gonna be all alone..she wants me to stay at least until this semester of college ends, which is may 12..but my bf wants me to stay a week more the most..idk what to do…I want to prolong hurting my mom..but it’s inevitable..because it’s best my bf and I raise this baby together and not live separately..
Well I posted the story about Sunday but idk what happened to it…
I’m proud of you for breaking the news so calmly and thinking of the baby and environment, stress, etc. I hope all goes well with your mom.
Thank you! Yeah well right now I plan on moving in with my boyfriend, but my mother is not content with that at all. She actually would rather him leave me so I could live at home :/
Cassie-
I think all mom’s are just like that. My mom always gave me a hard time when I would do stuff with my boyfriend. She acted like I was choosing him over her. I wasn’t and it was sometimes hard, but they start to get used to the fact that you have a life that isn’t just focused on them. Br brave, you can do it!Yeah but I just don’t think she’ll ever get over it. She divorced my father, and then my cousin who was living with us moved out..and now she’s like oh you’re pregnant so you’re leaving me too? But in my eyes, I’m doing what’s best for my daughter/son. He/she deserves an opportunity to have a complete family, mother and father..and considering I had a terrible childhood, I will not take that away from him/her. I want to give him/her everything I never had, which was a real family. But my mom just sees it as, it will never work, I’ll be miserable, I don’t really love him, and all this stuff she wants to believe. She rather him leave me so she could keep me all to herself. She’s not thinking about what’s truly best for her daughter and grandchild. It really sucks. I don’t want to hurt her but she’s giving me no choice..
I replied to this but I don’t know if it went through..yeah that’s true..I feel bad since my boyfriend works all day and both my mom and him get out at the same time and I go to spend time with him. I know she feels left out but I mean I don’t really get to see him..and I plan on moving out soon..but she would rather him leave me or get deported than see me move out..it’s always about her..that she doesn’t want to be alone..that she wants my life this way not that way..but I’m a mom now..and it’s time that I be a good mother instead of always trying to protect my own.
Sounds like a tough spot to be in 🙁 I think your mother is motivated out of love for you still. Do keep talking with her about everything. She’s done a lot for you and sometimes when I don’t think so, those people are still the people with great advice. Of course she loves her little girl and of course she wants the best for her grandchild. Maybe if she got to know the bf better first it would help? She might just want to make sure he’s committed to the relationship and won’t every leave you and her grandchild. That is a loving and very caring place she is coming from then. It is a lot safer to know that the father of your child won’t leave you….that’s why a binding marriage relationship where you both promise to love (which means an action of loving, not necessarily always a feeling) is the safest and most rewarding. So, I guess dialoguing with your mom some more might help you see where she is coming from possibly….and it is always nicest if you can maintain a healthy relationship with her. Let her know you love her and care about her thoughts….and also consider what is in the long run healthiest for your little on. Congrats and my prayers as you make these sorts of decisions!
Thanks a lot! Your response means a lot to me..but my mom’s not afraid he’ll leave me..she wants him to leave me..she just doesn’t want to live all alone..I wish she thought of what I want but she doesn’t..she tells me I don’t love him and he’s probably cheating on me or selling drugs, and calls him an asshole..and all these things for no reason..she was starting to get along with him sort of before this, but now, my bf just wants to avoid her at all costs..and it hurts to be torn between them. But I know how my mother is, so I can’t blame him..I just really wish she would give him a chance. She assumes he’s like my father just because he had a rough past..And I hate it..it’s not fair..and I don’t know what to do..yesterday was my birthday and my bf asked me to marry him..I said yes..but I can’t tell my mom..that would be worse to her than me being pregnant..she already told me that..but if I hide it from her she’ll only be angrier later on..there’s just no way for me to win anymore :/
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