I jus don’t understand

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      When I was 16 I got pregnant by my boyfriend of 3yrs. but when I ws 2 1/2 mths I had a miscarriage. We dont use condoms because I am allergic and every since then I have had about 12 pregnancy scares because my cycle is very irregular. I have one like every 3-6 mths and just recently he stopped pulling out and now I will think Im pregnant then my cycle comes. I just don’t understand.



        It may be a lot of things but one possible simple explanation is that your cycle may not be all that regular or you may be subjected to a bit more stress at certain times. Another factor here is that you may be overreading your "signs" since you’re scared and he hasn’t been "pulling out".

        Let me get to the hard facts first: Sex is enjoyable and very, very pleasurable but can you really do the "baby thing" at 16? What some girls seem to misunderstand is that there is no baby thing. There is simply the motherhood thing. Babies grow up and actually, everything that people think are cute and enjoyable about babies doesn’t really last. Sooner or later, there’s school, there’re grades, there are bills, there are, God forbid, boys for your daughters who may just get them pregnant at 16. Have you considered these implications of pregnanct at 16 or 17? If you get pregnant and have a duaghter who also ends up having sex with a non-pulling boyfriend at 16, you may be a grandmother at 32.

        I guess what I’m trying to say at this point is that lay off the sex. You seem scared as it is but you’re still going through with it.

        Why is your boyfriend not pulling out? Because it feels way better if he comes inside you. It just doesn’t feel the same if he pulls out. What’s bothersome is that neither of you seem to be overly concerned about you getting pregnant. Your worrying about it is not doing anything. Since you’re allergic to condoms, I think that’s a not so subtle hint that maybe you should wait until you do get married so that you’re more prepared for motherhood.

        Also, there is no real benefit to "pulling out". Once a guy has a hard on, his penis is undergoing lubrication and the natural lubrication will most likely have semen and therefore, sperm there. It only takes one over-active sperm to get you pregnant and each time a guy comes there are millions heading your way. At his hard-on? Who knows? A few dozen? A hundred? It only takes one.

        Please be concerned about yourself. If your boyfriend insists on having sex, then he isn’t really in love you but he just loves being able to ejaculate inside a girl. Sorry for being so hard but I really wish you’d stop having sex for now to save you the aggravation and possibly an early entrance into motherhood.

        If your boyfriend is willing to wait and agrees to not have sex if you decide not to, then that’s an indication that he’s with you more than just for the humping. Some people have said this, "true love waits." It’s true. Try and find out if this boyfriend of yours deserves not only your body but your total self and love as well.

        Take care.



          I just want to say AMEN to what eric wrote…there is alot of truth in what he said. I was sexually active for 10 years and had two kids by two dads before I chose abstinence. I never worried about getting pregnant, or getting an STD or AIDS….I remained abstinent for 3 1/2 years until my wedding night. My husband is the most loving, caring, respectful man I have ever been with and he waited…..I promise you that there is a man out there who will love you enough to wait….you are worth it…expect a wonderful man to respect you and keep yourself pure and there will be so much blessing you wont know what to do with it all…I’m praying for you and I hope that you will set this guy straight and demand that he treat you like the precious jewel you are….and wait……Meg

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