i feel so ashamed…

well my mom and i have a great realtionship now, for a pretty long time… but back when i was 16, things were different…

i THOUGHT she didnt knew about my abortion…i was SURE about it…and today i came home from the cementary and i was in the kitchen and she says something about how she will call a cleaning lady to come once a week and then she says how i shouldnt have the papers under my brothers bed. that she knows it, dad doesnt knows it and she wont tell him. that she knew that from the day i made it, (she was in greece at that day!!!!) that now i do have to understand how it feels, i am her daughter she knows when something is not ok…
and that i should put them under my documents, not cause of the cleaning lady, cause she doesnt care what other people think, that things like that happen (my mother is VERY pro choice,and not really into keeping a baby while in the begining of high school), but just so, for me.

i feel so ashamed of not telling her… it hurt me that i started to cry but it wasnt just sadness like usual but shame. i am so ashamed of doing it…and of not telling my mother. things might be different today..

i am ashamed, cause i did it on my own…why havent i told my MOTHER, i might have keeped the baby but even if not…shed be there and support me…

what i want for YOU girls…please tell your mothers, they love you, and they will help and support you, cause doing a decision on your own, at that young age is just hard and unproductive, its good to make your OWN decision, but it is ok to let other, more experienced people help you.