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taycarwillow
so like a week ago my boyfriend (the father of my baby) just took off out of nowhere for a day and didnt even let me or anyone know where he was going. I was so stressed and worried i didnt know what to do. But when he finally got home he said he had a nervous breakdown from school and stuff but i told him that we are having a baby in less than 5 months and there is gonna be a lot of stress so he needs to learn how to deal with it without taking off and he promised he would never take off like that again and i told him if he ever did i would break up with him cuz all that stress is bad for me and the baby. So he promised he would never do that again. But just barely over the weekend he took off again but he said he didnt mean to stay out all night his brother was just to high to drive him home. But i told him i would leave him if he did that again so i did but that was just killing me so i got back together with him. But today i just found out that he’s skipping school with his brother almost everyday. So i just like i dont know what to do. Im not even in school now because he lost his job so i have to work and i would kill to be in school! But he is totally taking advantage of everything he has and he keeps hurting me so i just dont know what to do anymore….i need help…
Meg11
Hey Sweetie, I know where you are at and the really sad but truthful thing is that you cannot make him change, My stepmom had a cat named Oliver and he was really cool but was not the snuggly cuddly kind of cat, I would always try to hold him and he would run, one day she was not home and I took him in my room and made him sit with me while I watched a movie, after being trapped in my room for hours he took his chance at escape when I opened the door, he got outside and ran, we never saw him again…it is just an example of what can and will happen if you make someone be there when they don’t want to be, your boyfriend will either grow up and take responsibility or he wont, only time will tell but even though you deserve to have him there for you in this time you really can’t demand him to report his every move to you, if he stays by your side and does the right thing by working and letting you go to school and helping with the baby once the baby is here just because he has no choice it will only last for so long before he runs and you never see him again, but if you give him space and let him learn from his mistakes (skipping school, not working, hanging out with the wrong people, missing out on time with you and baby, etc) then he will either learn to appreciate what he has (you and baby) and take responsibility or he will leave and you wont have such a big fall because your expectations were not so high and demanding…I hope you hear my heart behind my words, this guy is missing out on some very special moments and if he is being irresponsible and letting you take the whole burden of what took both of you to make then you are better off without him, just hang in there and let him make his choices, be there to love him and receive him when he wants to get his act together but don’t settle for less than you deserve and let his poor choices ruin this time of nesting in your pregnancy, take time for you and realize that you may end up doing this on your own and get used to it, not all guys stick around, my kids dads didn’t but God brought me a better man then they could have ever tried to be, you deserve the best, don;t let this guy make you miserable…I am here if you need to talk…Love Meg, meg@standupgirl.com
Ya i just told him that if he wants to change and be there for his little girl like he says he wants then i would love that but if he doesnt then thats his decision.
But thank you so much. I really love this site cuz you get such great advice about the sticky situations!
thank you i really do appreciate it.
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