How to live with my choice?

HOME Hot Topics Girl Zone Personal Experiences – Just Let It Out! How to live with my choice?

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      I’m currently 18 years old, a college student and engaged in a happy relationship with my partner. I was 8 weeks pregnant when i chose to surgically abort my baby. I’ve always never been keen on the idea of abortion, no strong feelings either way but i knew i’d prefer never to have one. I was stupid and thought because i’m overweight, unhealthy and probably have low fertility anyway i’d be ok using the withdrawal method… i was wrong! After a year with my partner, i fell pregnant. I knew straight away … probably a week-ish after conception. I felt bloated, and pretty much knackered. I work as a chef doing split-shifts and i came home for my 2 hours break and pretty much collapsed on my sofa feeling so faint… It progressively got worse, tired, faint, bloated and very very sick!! I even vomited on the bus, and over the hospital toilets on the day of my abortion! My boyfriend said that he would support me either way, but that he genuinely thought we literally couldn’t have a child. I was swayed by his practicality… i mean we’re both college students, only myself with a part time job. How could we afford it…? In the end, i felt so ill, barely being able to move from my bed every day that i chose to go for an abortion. I chose the surgical method as it seemed less painful. I regretted it soon as i woke up, but ifelt so much better ( my nausea had completely gone!! ) that i was just utterly releived for a few days..! It’s now 2 months on and i’m just devastated by my choice.. i wish i still had my baby . 🙁 I get so angry and upset, i feel like i cant even function anymore. i struggle to uphold any kind of social life. I have no friends, i dont reallt speak much at college or work.. but my boyfriend seems untouched and iguess im growing to .. resent him? he jsut seems releived. I love him to bits but im falling apart… please help!/


        I am so sorry for your loss and the heartache you are experiencing. You are not the only one who has had this experience and healing can happen. I am not the best at all of this, but there are some great resources to check out,, or Or write a dear becky letter. Really you are not alone and your life is not over now. Even in pain, beautiful things can again come. I will be praying for you and all that is happening in your heart and life. With love~


          I am so sorry for your loss! I know that there are times when you think you’re making the right decision at the time, and then later you come to realize that it was a completely wrong decision. Know that there are many girls on this website to help you out.

          My heart hurts for you, and if there is ever anything I can do to help you out, please let me know!

          It does sound like you need to find someone to talk to – someone who has maybe been there and can help you find your way through the emotions of all of this.

          I hope you find the help that you need!

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