How to live with my choice?

I’m currently 18 years old, a college student and engaged in a happy relationship with my partner. I was 8 weeks pregnant when i chose to surgically abort my baby. I’ve always never been keen on the idea of abortion, no strong feelings either way but i knew i’d prefer never to have one. I was stupid and thought because i’m overweight, unhealthy and probably have low fertility anyway i’d be ok using the withdrawal method… i was wrong! After a year with my partner, i fell pregnant. I knew straight away … probably a week-ish after conception. I felt bloated, and pretty much knackered. I work as a chef doing split-shifts and i came home for my 2 hours break and pretty much collapsed on my sofa feeling so faint… It progressively got worse, tired, faint, bloated and very very sick!! I even vomited on the bus, and over the hospital toilets on the day of my abortion! My boyfriend said that he would support me either way, but that he genuinely thought we literally couldn’t have a child. I was swayed by his practicality… i mean we’re both college students, only myself with a part time job. How could we afford it…? In the end, i felt so ill, barely being able to move from my bed every day that i chose to go for an abortion. I chose the surgical method as it seemed less painful. I regretted it soon as i woke up, but ifelt so much better ( my nausea had completely gone!! ) that i was just utterly releived for a few days..! It’s now 2 months on and i’m just devastated by my choice.. i wish i still had my baby . 🙁 I get so angry and upset, i feel like i cant even function anymore. i struggle to uphold any kind of social life. I have no friends, i dont reallt speak much at college or work.. but my boyfriend seems untouched and iguess im growing to .. resent him? he jsut seems releived. I love him to bits but im falling apart… please help!/