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Anonymous
I am 19 years old and 10 weeks pregnant. When i found out i was pregnant i was so scared! i didnt want to have to deal with anything. But now that i have gotten used to the idea of a little baby, my boyfriend says that if i dont get an abortion, we are done with. He says he never wants to talk to me or have anything to do with the baby. He told me that i am ruining his life and he is always so mean to me. It is working too…..Now all i can think about is the fact that i have to choose him or my baby. I have already gone to see an abortionist and have made my appointment. I dont want to do it, but i dont want to lose the love of my life?? Please help me!
Dear Andrea – I’m Lisa from the Stand Up Girl website. When I saw your e-mail – my heart stopped! I wanted so badly to reach through and to take your hand and tell you … please know … no one is worth the very life of your little baby boy or girl.
I know it is so so scary right now Andrea – but can I just say a couple of things? Just give these things some thought. Please know I’m not trying to be mean about your boyfriend – but really, he needed to think about his responsibility when he asked you to be intimate with him. Now that you have become pregnant (and it’s not all your fault by they way) he is giving you a choice of choosing the life of your child or him.
Can I tell you Andrea – that it’s not worth it. I did it and I live with my choice to this very day. The pain of my loss is sometimes unbearable. And usually after abortion, relationships don’t last. Often times because there is so much hurt associated with abortion, the relationship is often times just a painful reminder.
Andrea – I see letters on this site – time and time again where the guy makes this threat – but when she becomes a Stand Up Girl – it’s only a matter of time before he comes around too. This is his baby and nothing will change that. You are not ‘ruining his life’ Andrea – he is asking you to ruin yours and your babys life for him. Please say no. Please take your baby into your heart and choose life for that precious little baby.
I hope you do. Thank you for coming to our site.
Luv Lisa
LoveBBOA
I know the thought of losing someone you care about is sadening. But if he loves you he will respect your decisions. Don’t do anything you will regret later in life. I was 16 when I had my son, now 7 years later i am in my second year of college and met the most incredible man. We got married in July of last year. You need to decide what is best for you, it is your body not his and he needs to understand your concerns and your feelings. Believe me raising a child and seeing their smiling faces when you hold them and look at them is the best gift in the world! I don’t think that abortion is the way to go.
Please oh please don’t do it just becuase of this guy!!!! PLEASE!! If this man is the "Love of Your Life" he would be happy for you and respect any decision that you might make!!!!! Don’t ever let a man make that decision for you, it is your body not his!!!!! Sweetie, I hope you haven’t gone through with this already!!!! But, let us know asap!!!
Well you should not have to make a decision between the two. Right now this seems like it is the end of the world, but it isn’t. You have to follow your heart. You are the one that will have to live with the decision for the rest of your life. I have never had an abortion so I don’t know about the feelings you have afterwards. I do know that when I found out I was pregnant the father insisted that I have an abortion. I chose to have the child. I have never regretted that I made the decision to bring my child into the world. She has brought lots of love and joy into my life. I had been with the father for almost 5 years. When my daughter was born he stayed for 2 months and then moved on. This was not an easy thing to go through. I now can see that this was the best thing that could ever have happened to me. Two years later I met the love of my life. That was 16 years ago. He helped to raise my daughter. I hope you have family support in this matter because that would make it so much easier. I hope you make the decision to bring your son or daughter into the world. Once you hold that precious child in your arms and they look into your eyes you will know that you made the right decision.
Happy GrandmaKit
Andrea,
If your boyfriend cares about you he would take responsibility for his actions and be there for you and for the baby. It takes two people to make a baby and he is as much responsible as you are. I understand that you feel that you don’t want to lose your boyfriend, but you deserve to be treated better. If he is threatining to leave you and forcing you to have an abortion that you do not want to have, then you deserve much better. Please don’t let your boyfriend or anyone else force you into an abortion you do not want. If you have already come to love the child developing inside you, then I would encourage you to cancel the appointment you made and give it life. Perhaps adoption could be an option if you both are not ready for parenthood yet. If your boyfriend can’t accept your decision to have the baby and gives you a hard time than you deserve better…how can you trust him for love and support in the future? Hopefully your boyfriend will come around and support you and the baby.
Kate
Nessy.
STOP!!! Think about what your doing here.
Is your Boyfriend really worth it over someone else’s life. I felt so sad when i heard your story. If you don’t want to give up your baby then don’t!!!
If your boyfriend really loved you, then he would support your descion to keep the baby and respect it. You shouldn’t have to choose. What is growing inside you this very minute, no matter how small is the greatest treasure on earth.It depends on you. It’s not your baby’s fault this happened, so why punish it. if you have this baby, (everyone on this site will agree with this,) it will be the best experience of your life and you will be so happy you kept your beautiful child. God gave you the ability to have children and be a mother. Make your own decsions. If he dosen’t want to be a father that’s he’s choice but don’t let it influence yours. Being a mother is the most rewarding privledge in the world, and if you have your baby, you will look at her/he and reliase just how lucky you are and that you are doing the right thing, and giving this life a chance.
The love of your life will be your baby. Your boyfriend is not worth it and if he really loved you then he would not force you into anything you did not want to do. Any way, the damage to relateionship is already done. Please cancel your appointment and make an doctor’s appointment instead so you can learn how to take of ypurself during pregnancy. You said yourself you got used to the idea of having a baby, Never let anyone make you do things you don’t want to do. If you have this abortion you won’t only be killing your child but something inside of you. Abortion is never the easy way out. Ask anyone of the girls on this site who have had a abortions and they really regret it.Please remember God is always with you, and will help you. It will be tough but you can do it. I believe you can!!! And there so many other people who believ you can do it too. Stay strong and never ever give up.
Luv Nessy.
Post edited by: Julie, at: 2006/01/27 19:15
[b]look i know this is hard trust me i have been through the same thing but your baby comes from within u its your flesh and blood and there are more guys out there that would love to have someone like u. Its his responsibility if he doesnt want to have anything to do with u then get child support he cannot run away from that.You laid down to do it now u gonna have to lay down to have it. He doesnt deserve you if he is running away. The love of your life? the love of your life wouldnt leave you alone with a baby. You are 19 not 15 You are grown u have support and a way to take care of it and if he cant help then u can do it on your own or try to enter your state zip code and city and you can put the baby up for an open adoption, u choose the parents, they send u letters, pictures, and u can visit the baby.try it and tell me what u decide.keep me updated ok? bye
~Anita~
B)fuzyelmo1313
if it were me i wouldn’t do it i just can’t stand the thought of abortion and if your boy friend is trying to make you choose and you say he is mean to you i don’t think he’s really worth it i mean he may mean a lot to u and if you mean a lot to him he’ll come around eventually i’ve been their with my friends and i know how it feels to be left alone but i too am worried that i might be pregnant and i’m only 13 and i don’t know what to do either but if i were you i’d either have it and keep it or have it and give it up for adoption but i wouldn’t have an abortion cuz remember babies are a gift from god well i hope i’ve been of some help write back to me if you want bye
fuzyelmo1313 🙂Leasha5237
I 2 am 19 and 12 weeks pregnant. My bf told me to choose him or the baby and I choose my baby. I went to hear my baby’s heart at 11 weeks and it was so incredible that I cried. Now my ex-bf calls everyday wondering if I’m going to take him for child support.I know it’s hard doing it by yourself but believe I feel it’s all worth it. As for my ex-bf I’ll worry about him later.
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