help i don’t know what to do

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  • #10137
    Anonymous

      i found out yesterday that i am pregnant. i am no longer in a relationship with the farther. i rang up and told him and he told me 2 get rid of the baby. at first this is what i thought i wanted but the more i think about it the more i want to keep it. iv tried telling him this but he just wont listen and keeps telling me its not the right time and that i have got to get rid of it. wot do u think i should do? please help me.

      #10164
      Kit

        Kate,

        I’m sorry to hear that the father of the baby is reacting this way. Please don’t let anyone pressure you into having an abortion, especially if that is not what you want to do – He can’t make you get an abortion. Unfortunately it sounds like you will not have emotional support from your ex, but do you have friends and relatives who will be supportive of you through this pregnancy? I would try to find a support system. You could also talk to Birthright or a local crisis pregnancy center for help. Even if he chooses not to be involved with the pregnancy and the baby you could still press for child support from him. It may not be easy, but I think that you should listen to your heart and not your ex and give life to this child. Best Wishes.

        Kate

        #10182
        cemomto4

          [b] I completely understand what you are going through. When I got pregnant with my oldest child, I was only 17yrs old, and his father walked out on me the day I told him I was pregnant. I was also told to get rid of my baby. I decided that I was not going to let him make choices for me. Men have no guilt over a miscarriage because they are not the ones that have to submit to them physically or mentally. Its solely on the woman. And with that also comes the great power to tell them to shove it, because this is your body and your baby! If you had a 2yr old child, would you randomly choose to have your child killed? Of course not! If you want my advice, either raise the baby on your own, like I did, or place it for adoption if you dont think you can be a mother. There is no shame in that. Its a very selfless act and one I completely admire. I have had 3 miscarraiges myself, and unless you have lost a baby, you can’t understand the physical and emotional toll it has on your body to have a baby die. Its something I wouldnt wish on my worst enemy. Just rememeber, there are so many women out there that cant have children. Consider yourself lucky and special. Whatever you choose to do, make sure its because you WANT to, not because someone pressured you. That is your child, and that baby is depending on you. Please consider life. I promise you as a mother of four, that you wont regret it 🙂

          Christina

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